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So, one by one my supporters are falling. Last night the pains were at their maximum – and they chose a SUDAY night of all nights to come back, damnit!!! I cried and yelled a lot in my bed; I’m surprised my grandfather didn’t hear. Or maybe he did and just decided to ignore it….who knows. Anyways, I hobbled out to the den to sleep on the couch beside my grandmother like I had the past few nights. She just looked at me with an expression that said “again?” and she looked irritated. Because the pains decided to make themselves the worst on a school night, Nanna thought I was just trying to avoid a day of school. I didn’t blame her, since over the weekend these new pills I’m taking seemed to have dummed down the pain during the day at least. But not at night. No. No. The pains still stab me ‘til well at four in the morning. I gasped and whimpered and jerked for a few minutes, until Nanna finally exploded and said something like, “this is getting ridiculous, I’m tired of this and not putting up with it anymore.” So I kept myself as silent as possible, only gasping in pain so I wouldn’t upset her anymore. She went on how “I’m not missing another day of school, I’m going tomorrow whether I got sleep or not.” THAT burned me up. :steaming:!! Because SHE has been the one to keep me home! Those days she never even woke me in the morning!!! :fight: Anyways, it was then that I realized I didn’t really have her support anymore, and my grandfather’s had long blow over….. I just closed my eyes and prayed that the pains would give me a break come Monday morning.
The morning was hell like you people would not BELIEVE!! I almost screamed when I sat up in bed this morning; the pains were so bad I could barely breathe. Nanna harshly told me to get ready, and the nearly livid glare I received from my grandfather said that I better be quick at it. I wasn’t, of course. How could I be? I could barely fracken move, but like my grandparents cared. If there’s one thing I’ve learned that’s different about my family then others is that I NEVER get support from them, and when I do it’s not for long at all. Especially with Pappa and Nanna. My mom is usually more supportive, and I manage to keep her support for a while, but I wonder how long that’ll last. As far as I knew, my mother, my aunt, and my friends seemed to be the only ones that care now. Oh well.
I forced myself to get the pain from my mind as I got dressed, telling myself “if no one else cares, why should you?” Sometimes I almost hope that this is some horrible disease just to show my grandparents how wrong they were.