"Hentai" rated R
Blog Entry: "Hentai" rated R
Blog Entry: "Hentai" rated R
Posted by: upsidedownpancake
Posted: December 2, 2008, 7:36:33 PM
Mood: STILL HYPER
Eating: sushi all gone
Drinking: water
Posted: December 2, 2008, 7:36:33 PM
Mood: STILL HYPER
Eating: sushi all gone
Drinking: water
FIRST OF ALL! if you can't take a joke, don't read this. there is some language, but whatever, we've heard it all before. I don't believe in any of this, it's made up to entertain.
Hentai
If caught reading this page, roll over and play dead.
What a good show...
“I'm Harry Potter dog.”
~ Harry Potter on Hentai girl
“Piece of Shizz won't know what hit em.”
~ Gollum on Hentai viewer
“My My...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Hentai
“... WTF? I think I'm getting... Hard... Maybe...”
~ Silver the Hedgehog on Watching Hentai
“What is that tentical doing to that chick?!?!”
~ Stupidfish on real people
First off, you know why you're here.
Hentai is a Japanese art form, which I happen to like. A lot. Over the years, I've saved a lot of Hentai to my external hard drive, and before I knew it, I had upwards of 1.2 terabytes of the stuff. I will now share my accumulated knowledge with the world, because I'm such a nice guy.
History of Hentai
Hentai originated in 397 B.C. in a small cave which happened to be located in a rather bad neighborhood. Jog-by spear-pokings happened constantly. This behavior made all of the law abiding cavemens (and womens respectively) want to stay inside. After a while they got bored and started drawing doodles of animals and spears on walls, which were then hyper-analyzed by archaeologists in desperate need of grant money. Well, eventually the spears became penises and the animals became female creatures (this is an appropriate discription of a cavewoman. They looked a lot like lasagna-meatloaf.) Eventually the cavemen realized that if they drew multiple pictures that changed only slightly in appearance, then ran as fast as possible past the pictures, they would look like they were moving. Unfortunately, the first known "moving picture" hentai drawings ended at the mouth of a cave on a cliff. In the present time, we are down to only 3,000 deaths a year from hentai crazed nerds running off cliffs. We are thinking of putting up guard rails of some sort, as soon as George Bush CLEARS UP THE NATIONAL frackING DEBT!!!
Types of Hentai
Hentai encompasses almost all fetishes, ranging from the mildly disturbing to the horrifyingly sickening. As you read the descriptions for each category, remind yourself that people (i.e. you and me) actually jerk off to this stuff.
Note: Every category can and will combine with any other category, even those that clearly contradict each other.
Ecchi
This Hentai focuses mainly on nudity and provocative clothes, and not so much on the sex. Marketed towards the crucial cry-baby pussy demographic.
Bakanyu
Bakanyu focuses mainly on women with gigantic tumors on their breast.
Yuri
Girl-on-girl action, for those who don't like actual girls. Boo. Penis.
WOOHOO! Yaoi
Guy-on-guy action, for those who don't like actual guys. yeah, peni!
Lolicon
Now this shoot here is just scary. Lolicon is basically child-porn but in anime style. It's legal here (U.S.A.) and is popular among the pedo crowd.(in other words, disgusting).
Shotacon
Now this shoot here is just scary. Shotacon (also known as Shota) is basically gay child-porn but in anime style. Its usually graphic unpleasant to watch unless your into that kinda thing (but lets face it, of course you are you sick pedo). It's legal here (U.S.A.) and is popular among the pedo crowd.
Furry
Furries are mainly restricted to hentai. Genetic engineering is still in its infancy, so only the extremely wealthy can afford live specimens.
Futanari
For those who like women, but also like it in the @$$. A prime example would be Eddie Izzard. It's strangely hot.
Guro
This is where it gets fun.
Omorashi
A fancy way of saying you get turned on by pissing your pants.
shoot
Let's just skip this one.
Gore
This is the classic guro, the one everyone knows about. Well, maybe not everyone, but you know... This can actually be quite creative. Google image search 'waio guro' and then email me with your results so I can laugh at you. Wait, actually yeah, laugh in your teary-eyed face.
Tentacle Rape
Exactly what it sounds like --girls getting raped by forty-foot tentacle monsters. This fetish is, for the most part, hentai-specific. Also comes in non-rape variants; ie, girls that are more than willing to do this. They might as well try to enjoy it. I mean, let's face it, those things aren't gonna let them go anytime soon. Also occupies a very rare subgenre of yaoi. See also: HowTo:Avoid tentacle rape
A picture has been deleted because it made everyone throw up.
I just want to point out I AM THAT OCTOPUS! Hell YEAH!
Anime
In addition to all this, there is also hentai for every single anime show in existence. This is in accordance with the following rules:
Rule 34: If you can imagine it, there is porn of it.
Rule 35: If there isn't, it is your duty to create it.
Rule 36: If you can imagine it, there is also yaoi of it.
Rule 37: If there isn't, wait about five minutes. Some fangirl who smells like old bacon and dirty gym socks is most definitely working on it.
Here are some examples:
Avatar: The Last Air-Bender --Air isn't the only thing he can bend. I have no idea what I mean by that.
Harry Potter --So that's why the Christians get so pissed off!
Teen Titans --There is some discrepancy as to whether Starfire or Raven is hotter.
Naruto --This is the only hentai I've found that's drawn by the same people who make the show.
Pokemon --I would say "gotta catch 'em all" if it were more suggestive, but it's not, so I'll just say yes.
The Simpsons --Yellow, heh heh heh. Wait, what?
Codename: Kids Next Door --Man, I can't wait till my girlfriend goes to her stupid thing so I can jack off.
World of Warcraft --I'm a Shaman!
Blue's Clues --This is why Steve commited suicide.
Dragon Ball Z--Take off your Bulma, I mean, your panties.
Sesame Street--I really wish I was making that one up.
City of the shootting Dick Nipples--See above.
Hentai
If caught reading this page, roll over and play dead.
What a good show...
“I'm Harry Potter dog.”
~ Harry Potter on Hentai girl
“Piece of Shizz won't know what hit em.”
~ Gollum on Hentai viewer
“My My...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Hentai
“... WTF? I think I'm getting... Hard... Maybe...”
~ Silver the Hedgehog on Watching Hentai
“What is that tentical doing to that chick?!?!”
~ Stupidfish on real people
First off, you know why you're here.
Hentai is a Japanese art form, which I happen to like. A lot. Over the years, I've saved a lot of Hentai to my external hard drive, and before I knew it, I had upwards of 1.2 terabytes of the stuff. I will now share my accumulated knowledge with the world, because I'm such a nice guy.
History of Hentai
Hentai originated in 397 B.C. in a small cave which happened to be located in a rather bad neighborhood. Jog-by spear-pokings happened constantly. This behavior made all of the law abiding cavemens (and womens respectively) want to stay inside. After a while they got bored and started drawing doodles of animals and spears on walls, which were then hyper-analyzed by archaeologists in desperate need of grant money. Well, eventually the spears became penises and the animals became female creatures (this is an appropriate discription of a cavewoman. They looked a lot like lasagna-meatloaf.) Eventually the cavemen realized that if they drew multiple pictures that changed only slightly in appearance, then ran as fast as possible past the pictures, they would look like they were moving. Unfortunately, the first known "moving picture" hentai drawings ended at the mouth of a cave on a cliff. In the present time, we are down to only 3,000 deaths a year from hentai crazed nerds running off cliffs. We are thinking of putting up guard rails of some sort, as soon as George Bush CLEARS UP THE NATIONAL frackING DEBT!!!
Types of Hentai
Hentai encompasses almost all fetishes, ranging from the mildly disturbing to the horrifyingly sickening. As you read the descriptions for each category, remind yourself that people (i.e. you and me) actually jerk off to this stuff.
Note: Every category can and will combine with any other category, even those that clearly contradict each other.
Ecchi
This Hentai focuses mainly on nudity and provocative clothes, and not so much on the sex. Marketed towards the crucial cry-baby pussy demographic.
Bakanyu
Bakanyu focuses mainly on women with gigantic tumors on their breast.
Yuri
Girl-on-girl action, for those who don't like actual girls. Boo. Penis.
WOOHOO! Yaoi
Guy-on-guy action, for those who don't like actual guys. yeah, peni!
Lolicon
Now this shoot here is just scary. Lolicon is basically child-porn but in anime style. It's legal here (U.S.A.) and is popular among the pedo crowd.(in other words, disgusting).
Shotacon
Now this shoot here is just scary. Shotacon (also known as Shota) is basically gay child-porn but in anime style. Its usually graphic unpleasant to watch unless your into that kinda thing (but lets face it, of course you are you sick pedo). It's legal here (U.S.A.) and is popular among the pedo crowd.
Furry
Furries are mainly restricted to hentai. Genetic engineering is still in its infancy, so only the extremely wealthy can afford live specimens.
Futanari
For those who like women, but also like it in the @$$. A prime example would be Eddie Izzard. It's strangely hot.
Guro
This is where it gets fun.
Omorashi
A fancy way of saying you get turned on by pissing your pants.
shoot
Let's just skip this one.
Gore
This is the classic guro, the one everyone knows about. Well, maybe not everyone, but you know... This can actually be quite creative. Google image search 'waio guro' and then email me with your results so I can laugh at you. Wait, actually yeah, laugh in your teary-eyed face.
Tentacle Rape
Exactly what it sounds like --girls getting raped by forty-foot tentacle monsters. This fetish is, for the most part, hentai-specific. Also comes in non-rape variants; ie, girls that are more than willing to do this. They might as well try to enjoy it. I mean, let's face it, those things aren't gonna let them go anytime soon. Also occupies a very rare subgenre of yaoi. See also: HowTo:Avoid tentacle rape
A picture has been deleted because it made everyone throw up.
I just want to point out I AM THAT OCTOPUS! Hell YEAH!
Anime
In addition to all this, there is also hentai for every single anime show in existence. This is in accordance with the following rules:
Rule 34: If you can imagine it, there is porn of it.
Rule 35: If there isn't, it is your duty to create it.
Rule 36: If you can imagine it, there is also yaoi of it.
Rule 37: If there isn't, wait about five minutes. Some fangirl who smells like old bacon and dirty gym socks is most definitely working on it.
Here are some examples:
Avatar: The Last Air-Bender --Air isn't the only thing he can bend. I have no idea what I mean by that.
Harry Potter --So that's why the Christians get so pissed off!
Teen Titans --There is some discrepancy as to whether Starfire or Raven is hotter.
Naruto --This is the only hentai I've found that's drawn by the same people who make the show.
Pokemon --I would say "gotta catch 'em all" if it were more suggestive, but it's not, so I'll just say yes.
The Simpsons --Yellow, heh heh heh. Wait, what?
Codename: Kids Next Door --Man, I can't wait till my girlfriend goes to her stupid thing so I can jack off.
World of Warcraft --I'm a Shaman!
Blue's Clues --This is why Steve commited suicide.
Dragon Ball Z--Take off your Bulma, I mean, your panties.
Sesame Street--I really wish I was making that one up.
City of the shootting Dick Nipples--See above.