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Well, here's my review:
Rating: 2/5 (Okay)

This story is good in all the main aspects that make up a story are. For example, it uses full sentences, description, and also has some development on the characters! Great job! Though, it does what you need for a great story, but doesn't excel. It's plot is the main problem. It isn't that it's badly done, just, it's a bit boring. Your main point of suspense, the fight with the wolf at the part I read, was skimable at best. You needed to feel emotion with the characters, and play the drama that a fight has for reality. Its real hard, but it is needed. Overall, a fanfic that isn't total shoot, but isn't worth investing my time either. Above a "meh" though because it's well written. I'd improve it by spicing it up a bit. Nothing an english teacher would edit, just a bit more drama. That's all. Bye.

Thanks man, i wrote this in like 5th grade haha. I haven't been here for years but reading this actually makes me smile. Your advice is great and i, honestly, still haven't mastered the element of suspense and action. My stories tend to be lacking in climax. Its something i wish to improve. Another problem that you'll see i used to have back when i used this site, and still do have, is that i write really short chapters. It upsets me when i spend time to write and then post it in the chapter section and see like 400 words for the word-count (which suprisingly fills more of a Word page than you'd think xD). I hope to develop a more attention-hooking writing style. Please read my most recent story (the ultra manga thing) and tell me what you think! It'd be great to get criticism. I personally think that whenever i try to write a 'fight' scene i can picture it clearly in my head and when im writing it, its perfectly described and projected with my words. But thennnnn i reread a chapter upon completion and find that the fight scenes are confusing and utterly impossible to follow unless you were reading my mind when i pictured it xD

well i didnt even get to finish the story yet (neither did KDog) and i wrote this a long time ago and i didnt bother editing it that much...i started this before i even learned about writing stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(KDog is my god Bro and is at my house...i am on his account cuz i forgot to log off)

AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is a 4/5 untill you finish it then i am sure it will be a 10/5!