Chapter 1 - yeah
Submitted July 19, 2007 Updated July 19, 2007 Status Incomplete | I didn't write this, my friend Mashes-the Slytherin Queen on fanfiction.net did, but it's just too funny, so I decided to post it here for anyone who cares ^^'
Category:
Books » Harry Potter series |
Chapter 1 - yeah
Chapter 1 - yeah
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowde to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherni Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell
26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not go to class skyclad
31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not wigh the same as a Duck
42) I do not have a Daleck Patronous
43) I will not lick Trevor
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not tell teh first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowde to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherni Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell
26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not go to class skyclad
31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not wigh the same as a Duck
42) I do not have a Daleck Patronous
43) I will not lick Trevor
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not tell teh first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God
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scrumpleberry on July 19, 2007, 5:35:22 AM
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Kupo on July 19, 2007, 8:02:20 AM
Kupo on
Glad you like it! ^^ And yeah, I'm so excited about DH!!!