Chapter 4 - Death of a lover

              Jason got in his car and hurried over to Ariana''s friends house. When he arrived he asked her for Ariana''s new address, and after begging her for it she finally gave in and gave him the address. Jason thanked her repeatedly, then got in his car and took off for Ariana''s house. He didn''t arrive until nearlt an hour later.

              As he turned off the car he got a very bad feeling in his stumache that something was wrong, yet he didn''t want to think that something was wrong. He wanted to walk in there, appologize, and give Ariana a huge hug. Yet as he got out of the car and headed up the sidewalk to her house, his feelings worsened. When he reached the door he knocked twice, when no one answered he put his hand on the door knob. After waiting about a minute he turned it and the door swung forward. Jason called Ariana''s name once, but when she didn''t reply he walked in.

              He walked through out Ariana''s house, calling her name every once in a while, but she still didn''t answer. Jason had just about given up when he reached her room. He knock then pushed open the door. He looked around. Ariana''s clothes were laying on the bed, razorblades and knifes scattered the top of her dresser and an odd stain, that Jason thought looked an aweful lot like blood, led from her dresser to a door, that Jason hadn''t noticed till now.

             Jason''s heart sank as he walked towards the door. He walked to the door, knocked once, the put his hand on the door knob. He bit his lip preparing himself for the worse. He pushed opened the door, and stood froze. His heart felt like it had exploded in his chest.  Nothing that he could have done whould have prepared him for the dreadful scene that was now laid out before his eyes.

             Ariana''s pale naked body was submurged in crimson water. Water that had been colored by her own blood, he noticed from the cuts on both of her wrists and ankles. Her once beautiful face now contorted with pain. He moved closer and looked down at her frail body. He reached down and gently lifted her head out of the water. That''s whenhis last hope sunk. She really was dead. He moved back from her body looking horrified.

           He looked around the room, and noticed a small crimson stained note laying on the counter beside her. He hesitated a minute and then picked up the blood stained peice of paper.  He slowly began to read it to himself....

To whom ever finds me or cares,

                 I can''t take it anymore. The pain has become to much, and my life is pointless  now. Everything has exploded in my face, and I don''t feel I have a reason to live anymore. This was the only way out. The only way I saw. I appologize if there was another way that I missed, and I hope you can forgive me. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but I can''t take it. I have lost everything I once loved. I feel that it is my fault I lost them. I can''t help but wonder, what if I had been prettier, or skinnier? Maybe if I would have I never would have lost him. Jason was my everything, and when I lost him, I had nothing. So here I am reduced to nothing. Nothing but a hollow shell. I hope that I have not hurt anyone to much. I am sorry if I have. and I have one thing left to say. I hope that whoever reads this will kindly give Jason this message from me. Jason, I loved you. I always loved you. Even as I died. I died with you on my mind. I want you to know I thought about you even as I drew my final breath. I remembered everything I''ve ever done with you or said to you and I hope you remember to. I remember you telling me, promising me that you would love me forever. I remember and I hope you always remember that. ''Cause I always will love you even if I am dead. Please don''t forget me.

      your''s truely,

                           Ariana



           Jason''s chest hurt as he let the paper slip from his hands. He knew it was his fault, and there was the proof, written in Ariana''s handwriting and very clearly. He turned from the room, to find a phone. He knew he needed to call the cops. He needed to get someone here right away. He looked around, and soon found the phone. When he picked it up he saw that hisnumber was the last number on the called list. She had called him right before she did this, but she had hung up to soon. Jason wipped a tear from his face. He could have stopped her. He could have saved her had she only just stayed on the phone a bit longer. After calling 9-1-1 snd reporting the emergancy, he sank into Ariana''s bed. Hot tears slipping down his cheeks as he looked at her pale lifeless form.

          It had been his fault. As much as he didn''t want to believe it, it was his fault. She wouldn''t have done it if he would have never drank. If he just would have stayed sober. He had been extremely dumb to drink, but he really hadn''t ment to. He countinued to blame himself, even when the police tried to convince him that it hadn''t been his fault.

          He knew it had been. They knew it. And she had known it too. Now he was the one who had nothing.

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