Chapter 9 - Eggman’s Midlife crisis…

Eggman’s Midlife crisis…



One day… Eggman sits near Knuckles Master Emerald temple thingy…

Knuckles: O_o
Eggman: ^-^
Knuckles: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
Eggman: Yo man! I’m just chilling!
Knuckles: O_o
Eggman: Got a problem with that holmes?!
Knuckles: O_o
Eggman: Argh, forget it… I never gonna be 18 again…

Knuckles: What the hell is wrong with you….?
Eggman: Oh Knuckles… I’m so tired of ruling the world… It’s not easy you know… Suppressing my minions… Build all those giant robots… I mean… I hate getting older… You know…

Knuckles: Eeh… Is this a trick…?
Eggman: I kid you not… It’s a huge responsibility and I think I’m stressed…

Knuckles: Aawh… Poor Eggman…
Eggman: Indeed…
Knuckles: Come on! I take you to the others…
Eggman: Promise me that they won’t kick my @$$!
Knuckles: I promise! ^-^

After Knuckles took Eggman to see the others…

Knuckles: Hey guys!
All: O_o
Knuckles: Look who I brought!
All: O_o
Knuckles: Can I keep him?! ^_^
All: O_o
Shadow: What the hell is he doing here…?
Eggman: Well… I was wondering if I can spend a day with you guys… to make me feel better!

Sonic: For what…?
Eggman: Well, I hate getting older and-
Rouge: He’s got a midlife crisis!! *lmfao*
All: *lmfao*
Knuckles: Stop making fun of Eggman! Can’t you see he’s sufferd enough?!
All: T_T
Eggman: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?!! CAN I STAY WITH YOU?!!!
Shadow: No…
Eggman: PLEEEEEEEASE?!
Shadow: No…
Eggman: PLEEEEEEEASE?!
Shadow: No…
Eggman: PLEEEEEEEASE?!
Shadow: *sigh*
Sonic: Come on Shadow! He’s obviously in need! Rouge: Having a midlife crisis is horrible! You’re old and fat and thinking that you are still a teenager… I mean… I feel sorry for you Eggie!

Eggman: You live here now…?
Rouge: Well yeah, not much choice…

Sonic: Well… I guess you can stay but-
Eggman: YAY!!! *hugs Sonic*
Shadow: *slaps Eggman* On one condition…
Eggman: That is…?
Shadow: You are going to hang out with everyone…
Eggman: *gulp* You mean…
Shadow: Yes… Even with the girls…

Rouge/Amy/Cream: O_o
Shadow: *evil smirk* >=)
Sonic: Aawh Shadow! That’s just plain evil!!
Shadow: I know… Mwehehehehehe….

Later that day… Eggman hangs out with Shadow

Eggman: So what’s Blain doing…?
Shadow: He’s training…
Eggman: For what…?
Shadow: I don’t know, but he’s having fun none the less!


Knuckles: Ouch! Stop that!
Blain: ^-^ *punches Knuckles*
Knuckles: Ouch! Stop that!
Blain: ^-^ *punches Knuckles*
Knuckles: Ouch! Stop that!
Blain: ^-^ *punches Knuckles*
Knuckles: Ouch! Stop that!
Blain: ^-^ *punches Knuckles*

Eggman: Right… You still see Blain as your own son…?
Shadow: Not exactly… I just take care of him… But you can say that... He knows what he is Eggman… What you made him into…

Eggman: *gulp* He knows…?
Shadow: Yes…
Eggman: Is he…?
Shadow: Naah… He’s accepting the fact for what you did to him… But when he first found out… he went berserk…

Eggman: O_o
Shadow: Blain! Come on! Let’s go!
Blain: Who’s this guy…?
Eggman: I’m the great evil genius Dr. Eggman who created you and-
Shadow: *slaps Eggman*
Eggman: Ouch! Why was that for?!
Blain: O_o
Shadow: Blain, go punch Knuckles some more!
Blain: Yay!

Knuckles: OH GOD NO!! O_o
Blain: Stand still!!

Shadow: He knows what he is, and some part of where he came from… Some things should be left in the dark…After he found out what you did to him, his only thoughts were vengeance… If you say you created him… He’ll probably kill you…

Eggman: Shadow… You’re scaring me…
Shadow: Hehehe… Good…
Eggman: O_o

That evening…

Knuckles: Why is Blain standing there…?

Blain: tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic-

Sonic: Well I don’t know, maybe he has a tic… O_o
Knuckles: Blain!?
Blain: tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic-

All: O_o

Then Shadow came in the room…

Shadow: Hey guys…
Knuckles: Why is Blain standing there…?
Blain: tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic- DING!!!
Shadow: Woot! Pizza is done! *runs to kitchen*

Shadow comes back with a pizza…

Shadow: Yeah, I couldn’t find the egg-timer… So I put Blain in charge!
Blain: ^-^
Shadow: You’re a good son!!
Blain: Thank you! ^-^
Eggman: Blain wasn’t intended to be an egg-time Shadow… T_T
Shadow: Well, he has one million uses! He can also be an alarmclock!
Eggman: O_o
Shadow: Show him Blain!
Blain: That’s right Suzy! It’s 7:00 AM and such a beautiful Wednesday! This is WCTR with the news! The news is brought to you by Zaibatsu Pharmaceuticals!

Shadow: He’s an ultimate lifeform!
All: O_o
Blain: ^-^
Shadow: Anyway… DIG IN!!!
All: WOOT!!1

And they all dove on the pizza, except for Eggman…

Eggman: O_o

Amy: Don’t you want some pizza…?
Eggman: Eeh… No… I’ll pass… O_o
Amy: Ok, MORE FOR ME!!!

And they all fought over the pizza until Shadow used Chaos Blast and blasted everyone out of the house!

Shadow: *mumbles* fracking vultures… It’s my pizza…

Later…

Sonic: Dude! It’s raining outside!
Shadow: No shoot…?
Eggman: Yeah!
All: O_o
Eggman: Never mind…
Knuckles: Eehm… Let’s play… I spy!
All: OK…. T_T

Knuckles: I spy with my little eye… Something fat…
Blain: Is it Eggman…?
Knuckles: O_o
Eggman: O_o
Blain: What…?
Knuckles: How the hell could you guess it?!
Blain: T_T
Knuckles: I mean, geez! You’re only 12 years old! O_o
Blain: So what your saying, you can’t stand because I’m smarter then you…?
Knuckles: Yeah! How the hell could you know that?! Even I had trouble of finding the answer first before I asked it…

All: T_T

Shadow: Ok, enough… Let’s play quizmaster!!
Sonic: How does it work…?
Shadow: You team up with 2 guys, the quizmaster asks a question, the first one who gets it right, gets points. The quizmaster asks 3 questions before we switch turns.
Sonic: Oh ok, cool! Let’s do it!
Shadow: BUT… If your team gives a wrong answer, you’re team must be punished!1

All: O_o
Shadow: But it has to be fair though. If you know the answer, then smack on your buddy’s head! ^-^

All: O_o
Shadow: Ok ok… We’ll use the table instead… T_T
Blain: So who’s going to be the quizmaster…?
Eggman: Can I….?
All: Sure… T_T

Eggman: Yay!
Shadow: Blain, lets team up!
Blain: Yeah sure!
Knuckles: Sonic…?
Sonic: eeh… No… I’ll go with eeh… Amy!! ^-^
Amy: OMG!!1
Sonic: O_o
Knuckles: Then who will join me…?
Rouge: *Sigh…* I will…

Eggman: Ok, everyone ready…?
All: Yeah!

Eggman: Ok… First question… What will happen if you combine 4 strains of Anthrax with bio-engineerd mutated DNA…?

All: O_o *long silence*

Knuckles smacks on the table…

Knuckles: eeh… Potatoes…?

Eggman: Wrong!! *throws a bicycle at Knuckles and Rouge*

Rouge: *Slaps Knuckles* DON’T GIVE ANSWERS YOU DON’T KNOW STUPID!!
Knuckles: ^-^
Rouge: T_T

Eggman: Second question… Finish this sentence… “You’ll regret this doctor… Even if I’m not real… I’m still –

Shadow: *smacks head on table* THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!!!11

Eggman: Correct!! Two points!
Shadow: YAHOOO!!! Aah… my head hurts…
Blain: O_o

Eggman: The final question… How do you create an Ultimate Lifeform…?

Knuckles: OH OH OH!!! PICK ME!! I KNOW!!1 *smacks head on table countless times*

Eggman: Eeh… Yes…?
Knuckles: With sugar and spice and everything nice!
All: O_o
Knuckles: Then add a little… CHEMICAL X!!! *dramatic reverb*
Rouge: OH SHUT THE frack UP!!1 *slaps Knuckles*

Knuckles: O_o
Rouge: You’ve been watching the PowerPuff Girls again…?
Knuckles: How did YOU know it was the PowerPuff Girls…?
Shadow: He’s got ya there Rouge! ^-^
Rouge: Eehm… *shifty eyes* I hate you… *walks away*

Amy: This sucks…
Eggman: Let’s go watch a movie…
Sonic: What movie…?
Eggman: I don’t know, I’ve got a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger in it, but can’t remember the name! But… It’s not out yet…

Shadow: You illegally downloaded it…?
Eggman: Yes… And I burned it on a DVD…
Shadow: Such dastardly deed…
Eggman: Indeed!! MWUAHA!!! *lmfao*
All: O_o
Eggman: Never mind… let’s just watch it… T_T

Shadow: Ok… Blain, Can you make the popcorn…?
Blain: Sure! *eats instant popcorn bag*
All: O_o
Blain: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
All: O_o
Blain: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- Ding!
All: O_o
Blain: Popcorn is done! ^-^
Shadow: Blain… You never ceased to amaze me!
Blain: I know! ^-^

And so… They put up the DVD… T_T

Shadow: Sonic, Blain! Hurry up! The previews are already starting!
Blain: Coming!!

Tv: In a world… Where you must fight to survive…

Mobguy: I don’t know who he is or where he comes from… But I want him and his tortilla’s… DEAD!!1

All: O_o

Tv: He… sold tortillas on the corner…

Arnold: Listen to me! You have to get out of here! There trying to kill you!


Tv: Double the action…

Arnold: Watch out! Explosion!! O_o

Tv: Double the excitement!
Arnold: Get down!
TV: More action!
Arnold: ANOTHER EXPLOSION!! O_o
Tv: More of the excitement!
Arnold: Get down again!!

Tv: Arnold Schwarzenegger is back…
Arnold: Run for your lifes!!
Tv: The future… is… NOW!!! *explosion*
Tv: Little Tortilla Boy…
Arnold: Hastala Vista Baby!

All: O_o
Blain: That movie looks kick @$$!!
Eggman: O_o

Tv: Jean-Claude Van Dam is back… In the same crap you’ve seen over… and over… and over again!

Then suddenly the DVD player exploded…

All: O_o
Blain: What the hell…?!
Eggman: Who owns this… DVD player…?

Knuckles: That would be mine! I build it myself! ^-^
All: O_o

Sonic: Well… It’s getting late… let’s go to bed…
Eggman: Ok…

Eggman follows Sonic, Blain, Knuckles and Shadow to the bedroom…

Shadow: Where the frack do you think you’re going…?
Eggman: Eeh… To bed…
Shadow: Didn’t I mention you will be sleeping with the girls…?
Eggman: O_o
Shadow: Don’t try anything funny though… They all would kick your @$$ if you did, so don’t do anything I wouldn’t…

Eggman: You mean… I need to sleep in the same room as… Rouge… Amy and Cream…? O_o

Shadow: Yes… ^_^
Eggman: OH GOD!! HAVE MERCY!1 PLEASE!!
Shadow: Nope… Sorry… Yo Amy!
Amy: O_o
Shadow; Eggman needs a bed…
Amy: MAKE-UP PARTY!!!!
Eggman: Shadow no! You can’t let them do that to me!!
Shadow: I can! ^-^
Amy: Cream! Bring up the beauty-case!!
Cream: Okiedokie!
Eggman: Shadow I swear!! One day I’m gonna get you back for this!!!
Shadow: Mwehehehehehe…

Eggman: SHADOW!! NO!!! DON’T DO THIS TO ME!!!
Shadow: ^-^

The next morning… When everyone is asleep…

Blain: Goodmorning everyone, this is WCTR! The current time is 7:30 AM and it’s such a beautiful Thursday! The sky is clear and we’re hoping for some-

Shadow: BLAIN!!!
Blain: O_o
Shadow: Would you please stop with those stupid imitations?!
Blain: Eeh…
Shadow: I know you can pretend to be an alarmclock, an egg-timer and a microwave!! Just…. Stop it for fracks sake!!

Blain: OK… *sob*
Shadow: Don’t cry… I didn’t mean it that way…
Blain: Did you know I’m also a Swiss pocket knife…?
Shadow: O_o

Blain kept his leg and arms in the air…

Shadow: O_o
Blain: Swiss Pocketknife! ^_^
Shadow: Eeh… Yeah… that’s great… T_T

At breakfast time…

Blain: Did you know I can also be a toaster…?
All: O_o
Blain: *puts 2 bread slices in his mouth* Tic tic tic Tic tic tic tic tic tic tic- Ding! *spits out the bread*

Shadow: Blain…
Blain: Yeah… ?
Shadow: Stop it… T_T

Blain: You said it yourself that I’m useful for millions of things!
Shadow: THAT WAS JUST A ONE TIME ONLY AS A EGG-TIMER!!!
Blain: O_o

Then Rouge came downstairs…

Rouge: Urgh…. Gimme a coffee…
All: O_o
Knuckles: What happened to you?! O_o
Rouge: Amy and Cream were all night up… I couldn’t get any sleep because of them…

Shadow: So where are they…?
Rouge: Still upstairs… Eggman should be awake soon…
All: Huh…?
Rouge: Just listen… 3…2…1…

Eggman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! *runs down*

All: O_o
Eggman: LOOK WHAT THOSE LITTLE BRATS DID TO ME!!!

They all look at Eggman, who has Make-up all over himself… O_o

All: *lmfao*
Rouge: Whatever… Get me a coffee!
Blain: I can also be used as a Cappuccino machine! Anyone want Café Grando Laté?! ^-^

Shadow: Blain… Please… Shut up!
Blain: Hmpf… I’m just trying to be helpful…
Shadow: I know… But really, if anyone needs you, they will ask for it…

Rouge: Cappuccino machine huh…? Could you make me a Café Grando Laté…?

Blain: One coming up!


Blain drinks a mug of water, eats coffee beans, drinks whipped milk, throws cacao powder in his mouth and some syrup, shakes his head and spits it out in a small cup… O_o

All: O_o
Blain: Here you go! ^-^
Rouge: O_o
Shadow whispers to Eggman: What the hell were you thinking when you created him…?

Eggman: Well… Could be useful you know…
Shadow: T_T

Rouge stares disgusting at the cappuccino… O_o

Blain: Well… Drink it! ^_^
Rouge: *sniffs the cappuccino…*
Blain: O_o
Rouge: *takes a little sip* Whoa! O_o
Blain: O_o
Rouge: That’s some strong shoot!!! *drinks the cup in one single sip*
Shadow: Uh-oh
Rouge: Tastes good too! ^-^

Then suddenly Rouge starts shivering and jumps all over the place and bounces off the walls and ceiling! O_o

Rouge:whoaBlainthatisreallygoodanditssostrongidontknowwhattosayanyoneupforagameofmonopoly?no,okthatscoolwithmesayyouhaventgotanymoreofthatstuffimfeelingsohyper!!!!!!1

Eggman: You know guys… Spending a whole day with made me realize something…
Sonic: What…?
Eggman: I realized… THAT I STILL HATE YOUR GUTS!!!
All: O_o
Eggman: Knuckles destroyed my DVD!! Shadow kept on scaring me! Amy and Cream abused me! *points to his make-up, everyone chuckles*

All: O_o
Eggman: And Sonic… Well, I hated him in the first place, so don’t worry about that… And… I JUST HATE YOU GUYS!!!!
Knuckles: We love you too Eggman! ^-^
Eggman: FORGET IT!! I RATHER BE A BALD, FAT SON OF A dog TRYING TO CONQUER THE WORLD THEN TO SPEND ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU FREAKS!!!

Rouge:chillouteggmanitsnotsuchbigdealheyyouwantsomecappuccinoido, blainmakemeanotherone!!!!!

Blain: Another one Rouge…?
Shadow: OH GOD NO!!! SHE HAS ENOUGH!!!
Blain: O_o
Shadow: Take a Red Bull instead…
Blain: I’m also a vending machine! ^-^
All: O_o

Rouge still bounces of the walls and jumping all hyper…

Shadow: *throws 50ct in Blain’s mouth* O_o
Blain: Wait… Here it comes… Wait for it…. Wait…. HHHHHHGN!! *farts*

Then a can of Red Bull falls on the ground…

Blain: Here you go! ^_^
Shadow: I’ll pass…
Eggman: I’M OUT OF HERE!!! FREAKS!!!

After Eggman left…

All: Yes!! He’s gone!!

Shadow: Finally… Thought he would never leave… Good job everyone!

Rouge still bounces off the walls and jumping like a crazy dog! O_o

Shadow: Rouge… You can drop the act now, Eggman left…
Rouge: imnotactingimallhyperfromthatcappuccino!!!!!
Shadow: What the hell is she saying…?
Sonic: I don’t know… T_T
Shadow: Who cares, Eggman finally left!!
Rouge: Yayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyay!!!!!

All: O_o
Shadow: Don’t ever make here a cappuccino again Blain…
Blain: Ok…

*long silence*

Shadow: You can call it the end now… T_T

The end! O_o

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