Chapter 25 - Tech Support!!
Submitted July 25, 2006 Updated February 11, 2009 Status Incomplete | This is what Sonic and the others do when they are not saving the world... ^_^
Category:
Comics » Sonic the Hedgehog |
Chapter 25 - Tech Support!!
Chapter 25 - Tech Support!!
Tech Support…
Eeh… Don’t mind me, it’s just my ramblings about Microsux… Eehm, I mean Microsoft… ^-^
One day… Blain bought… or… stole a new computer…
Blain: WHOOOOOOOOT!!1 *turns it on*
Computer: … Wake up Blain…
Blain: O_o
Computer: The Matrix has you…
Blain: Follow the… white… Robot? Computer: No rabbit… -_-‘
Blain: Oh…
Blain: “Press F1 to continue!” … *Presses F and 1*
But… Nothing happens…
Blain: Damn it… Get Bill Gates on the phone…
*calls tech support*
Helpdesk: Hello, Microsoft Tech support, how can I help you?
Blain: Eehm… Yes, I have a problem…
Helpdesk: What kind of problem sir? Blain: A big one…
Helpdesk: What’s the nature of your problem sir? Blain: Your software sucks…
Helpdesk: I’m sorry sir, but you need to be more specific.
Blain: Like, imagine the biggest lollipop in the world…
Helpdesk guy pictures it…
Blain: Then suck it…
Helpdesk: Sir, I’m not able to help you if you do not explain your problem.
Blain: Ok listen up Swankey. I got this new computer. With… Windows XP. I boot it up and it says something about me being stuck in the Matrix thing. Press F1 to continue.
Helpdesk: Did you pressed F1…?
Blain: Yeah. I pressed F, and then 1. But nothing happens.
Helpdesk: Do you see the ESC button?
Blain: Yes!! I see the ESC!!1 button.
Helpdesk: To the right of it, you see F1. Press that.
Blain: *presses F1*
Helpdesk: Does it boot up? Blain: Yes!! I see! Thank you very much kind sir. Your help shall not be forgotten. Tootles!! You hang up first, no I will. Later.
Helpdesk: O_o
So… After Blain hang up… The computer booted up…
Blain: Aah… Shiny…
Aaaaaaand… Shadow walked in…
Blain: HOT LAVA!!
Shadow: OH DEAR GOD!! *jumps on desk*
Blain: I’m sorry, I was just really bored…
Shadow: Blain! Blain!! BLAIN THE LAVA!!
Blain: ... *pushes Shadow off the desk*
Shadow: OW!!! IS THIS WHAT LAVA FEELS LIKE ON THE FLESH!!!
Blain: ……… *slaps Shadow*
Shadow: Ehm… *stares at computer*
Blain: Check it out! I stol- Eh, I mean, bought a new computer!
Shadow: Where’d you get the money?
Blain: … I sold your house on E-Bay…
Shadow: I don’t have a house.
Blain: In that case, I left them an I.O.U.
Shadow: T_T
Blain: Dude, I swear! This thing is the newest of the newest! I can run Battlefield 2142 with everything on high with 120 frames per second!!1
Shadow: Yes… But does it run Pinball…?
Blain: Eeh… Dude, it runs everything on high…
Shadow: But does it run Pinball…?
Blain: …Yes…
Shadow: Then shove over, it’s my turn…
As soon Shadow starts up Pinball and is clicking on the keys like a maniac… A blue screen appears…
Shadow: O_o
Blain: ……
Shadow: I didn’t do nothing! I swear! O_o
“A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer.
If this is the first time you’ve seen this stop error screen, restart your computer. If this screen appears again, follow these steps:
Check for viruses on your computer. Remove any newly installed hard drives or hard drive controllers. Check your hard drive to make sure it is properly configured and terminated. Run chkdsk /F to check for hard drive corruption, and then restart your computer.
Technical information
***STOP: 0x0000007B (0xF898963C, 0xf0000034, 0x00000000 0x00000000***)”
Blain: …… Eehm… TECH SUPPORT TIME!!!1
So… Blain, like, called Tech Support again…
Helpdesk: Hello, Microsoft Helpdesk, how may I help you?
Blain: DUDE!! I, LIKE, TOTTALY GOT A BLUE SCREEN!!!
Helpdesk: Blue screens? Sir, that’s not possible. Microsoft is such an advanced operating system so that blue screens can not occur!
Blain: Whatever asshole. So what’s: STOP: 0x0000007B (0xF898963C, 0xf0000034, 0x00000000 0x00000000***)”
Helpdesk: No idea sir.
Blain: …
Helpdesk: ^-^
Blain: Well fix it!
Helpdesk: Ok, press Space, ESC, enter and numlock at the same time…
Blain presses the keys…
Helpdesk: Did you pressed the keys…? Blain: … Yes…
Helpdesk: Is it back to normal now? Blain: No…
Helpdesk: Well I tried; I’m going on break and have some pie.
Blain: Want me to come down there, rip your head off and shoot down your neck…?
Helpdesk: No… O_o
Blain: Then fix it…
Helpdesk: What?! No Bob! I cant have pie yet! I still got a customer on the line! …. What?! Yeah! I know! He keeps on doging of how bad Microsoft sucks!
Blain: Dude… What if I just-
Helpdesk: WHAT?!! WORSHIP THE GATES!! IF YOU DON’T, THEN PISS OFF TO LINUX OR APPLE!!! WE TRY OUR BEST TO HELP YOU!!!!
Blain: What if I just reboot…?
Helpdesk: Oh… Yeah, you can try that…
Blain: Thank you… Asshole…
Helpdesk: No problem sir…
Shadow: *sighs*… Piiiiiiiiiiiiinball…
Blain: Shut the hell up…
Shadow: Right-o!
Blain: T_T
Helpdesk: Did it worked…?
Blain: Yes… Bye… *hangs up*
Shadow: Where teh Pinball?!! ^w^
Blain: Shut the frack up…
Then Rouge came in…
Rouge: Whoa! Sweet!
Shadow: I know! Pinball!
Rouge: …
Shadow: ^w^
Rouge: *slaps Shadow*
Blain: So, whadda ya think?!
Rouge: … Sweet… Hey, I need to print something…
Blain: Printer is not installed yet…
Rouge: Well then do it!
So, 4 hours later, the printer is installed…
Blain: I think I got it…
Shadow: Pinball?
Blain: Shut up!!
Rouge: Great!
Blain: …
Rouge: So?
Blain: “Can not find printer”…
Then Knuckles came in…
Knuckles: Yo, yo, yo! Wassup homies!
Rouge: *slaps Knuckles*
Blain: “Can not find printer… Again…”
Knuckles: Hey! I know! *places printer in front of monitor*
All: O_o
Knuckles: He’s got to find it now!
Rouge: *slaps Knuckles*
Blain: ….. Still nothing…
Knuckles: I think your computer is blind Blain…
Rouge: *slaps Knuckles*
Shadow: … Where’s my Pinball…?
All: …
Blain: WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?!! YOU GUYS ARE DRIVING ME NUTS!!!
All: …
Knuckles: Hey… I know a joke… You wanna hear…?
All: No…
Knuckles: I’m gonna tell anyways…
All: T_T
Knuckles: What do you get when my fist… meets a sandwich…?
All: …
Rouge: Eehm… A battered up… sandwich…?
Knuckles: A KNUCKLE SANDWICH!!! *lmfao*
Shadow: What do you get when Knuckles has kids with Rouge… ?
Rouge: *glares at Shadow*
Blain: What?
Shadow: Disaster… *chuckles*
Rouge: … What do you get when Shadow’s onboard of the Space Colony ARK and sees his best friend Maria getting perforated…?
Shadow: O_o
Rouge: An Emo…
Knuckles: I know another one-
Blain: *dog-smacks Knuckles* I know one… Knock knock…
Knuckles: Who’s there…?
Blain: … frack you…
All: …………………
Knuckles: Good one! ^w^
Blain: … That was a rhetorical joke you @$$…
Rouge: He can’t help that he’s got an IQ of a broccoli Blain…
Knuckles: … Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey… That’s not nice…
Rouge: … *slaps Knuckles*
Computer: BLEEP BLEEP!!! MAIL MOTHERfrackER!!1
Blain: Oer! O_o *opens e-mail*
All: …
Blain: Knuckles…?
Knuckles: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeesh…?
Blain: Why the hell did you send me an email…?
Knuckles: … I got bored…
Blain: Ok… And… Why the hell is there an attachment with a picture of the Master Emerald in thongs…?
Knuckles: … Eehm… That was for me… Sorry…
Rouge: Can I…?
Blain: Yeah, go ahead Rouge.
Rouge: ^w^ *slaps Knuckles*
Shadow: Are you done yet…? I’m still waiting for my pinball…
Blain: Eeh… It says here that you need to download the automatic updates…
And so… Six hours later, the updates are done… Blain restarts… and…
Blain: ……
All: What?
Blain: “You are most likely to be a victim of illegal Windows software. Click here to solve it”.
Shadow: So… No pinball…?
Rouge: Eeh… Shush Shadow, I can see an anime vein popping up in his head…
Blain: …… Phone… Now…
Aaaaaaaaaand… He calls helpdesk… again…
Helpdesk: Hello, Microsoft Tech support, how can I help you?
Blain: … Yes… Well… I got LEGAL Windows XP… I downloaded the updates… and… I got a message saying I’m using illegal software…
Helpdesk: … Do you…?
Blain: NO!!! YOU frackING @$$ DICK SUCKER shoot PIECE OF TRASH dog GAYLORD!!!!
Helpdesk: … *cries*
Blain: …
Helpdesk: *sniffles* What…? Yeah… He called me a fracking @$$ dick sucker shoot piece of trash dog gaylord…
Everyone at the helpdesk gasped…
Helpdesk: … I need work therapy… I cant take it…
Blain: PUT ME THROUGH!!!!1
Helpdesk: EEK!!1 *hangs up*
Blain: *sighs* *dials number again* I swear, I’m gonna- Hello?!1
Helpdesk: Duuuuuuude… Like… Totally groovy… ‘Sup…?
After he explains the story… again…
Helpdesk: That’s like, totally bogus man… I’m sorry.
Blain: Finally… Someone normal for a change… So… Eeh… Is there a way to fix it…?
Helpdesk: Totally dude… Like, you gotta buy a new license key…
Blain: WHAT?!!!
Helpdesk: Totally…
Blain: … How much is that…?
Helpdesk: Not much dude… Like… $15 dollar for a license…
Blain: Really…?
Helpdesk: Totally…
Blain: That’s not much…
Helpdesk: Like, do you still have the XP cd’s…?
Blain: I.. eeh…. Never got a cd…
Helpdesk: Oh… Like, you need a cd dude… $394 dollars …
Blain: … Including the license…?
Helpdesk: Naah, are you shootting me…? Dude, it’s an OEM-version…
Blain: …
Helpdesk: Dude…?
Blain: …
Helpdesk: Dude…? You still there…?
Blain: …
Helpdesk: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!!
Blain: *hangs up phone*
Shadow: … Pinball…?
Rouge: Shut up… He’s about to blow… O_o
Blain gets out his weapons… And unplugs his computer and takes it outside… He grabs his weapons… Meanwhile… The others came too…
A.I Female voice: RRTS special ops clearance verified. Handle ID: Reaper.
Shadow: Pinball…?
After that, Blain perforated the computer…
Shadow: NJUUUUUUUUUUU!!!1 TEH PINBALL!!!1
Blain: You eeh… Wouldn’t have to have any C4 would ya…?
Shadow: *sniffles* Why…?
Blain: I’m gonna blow the Microsoft HQ…
Shadow: Oh goodie! ^w^
And so… Shadow and Blain blew the Microsoft building… Rouge continued slapping Knuckles many more times… Blain is out of ammo now… Oh yeah, like, Apple and Linux took over…
Teh end!!
Eeh… Don’t mind me, it’s just my ramblings about Microsux… Eehm, I mean Microsoft… ^-^
One day… Blain bought… or… stole a new computer…
Blain: WHOOOOOOOOT!!1 *turns it on*
Computer: … Wake up Blain…
Blain: O_o
Computer: The Matrix has you…
Blain: Follow the… white… Robot? Computer: No rabbit… -_-‘
Blain: Oh…
Blain: “Press F1 to continue!” … *Presses F and 1*
But… Nothing happens…
Blain: Damn it… Get Bill Gates on the phone…
*calls tech support*
Helpdesk: Hello, Microsoft Tech support, how can I help you?
Blain: Eehm… Yes, I have a problem…
Helpdesk: What kind of problem sir? Blain: A big one…
Helpdesk: What’s the nature of your problem sir? Blain: Your software sucks…
Helpdesk: I’m sorry sir, but you need to be more specific.
Blain: Like, imagine the biggest lollipop in the world…
Helpdesk guy pictures it…
Blain: Then suck it…
Helpdesk: Sir, I’m not able to help you if you do not explain your problem.
Blain: Ok listen up Swankey. I got this new computer. With… Windows XP. I boot it up and it says something about me being stuck in the Matrix thing. Press F1 to continue.
Helpdesk: Did you pressed F1…?
Blain: Yeah. I pressed F, and then 1. But nothing happens.
Helpdesk: Do you see the ESC button?
Blain: Yes!! I see the ESC!!1 button.
Helpdesk: To the right of it, you see F1. Press that.
Blain: *presses F1*
Helpdesk: Does it boot up? Blain: Yes!! I see! Thank you very much kind sir. Your help shall not be forgotten. Tootles!! You hang up first, no I will. Later.
Helpdesk: O_o
So… After Blain hang up… The computer booted up…
Blain: Aah… Shiny…
Aaaaaaand… Shadow walked in…
Blain: HOT LAVA!!
Shadow: OH DEAR GOD!! *jumps on desk*
Blain: I’m sorry, I was just really bored…
Shadow: Blain! Blain!! BLAIN THE LAVA!!
Blain: ... *pushes Shadow off the desk*
Shadow: OW!!! IS THIS WHAT LAVA FEELS LIKE ON THE FLESH!!!
Blain: ……… *slaps Shadow*
Shadow: Ehm… *stares at computer*
Blain: Check it out! I stol- Eh, I mean, bought a new computer!
Shadow: Where’d you get the money?
Blain: … I sold your house on E-Bay…
Shadow: I don’t have a house.
Blain: In that case, I left them an I.O.U.
Shadow: T_T
Blain: Dude, I swear! This thing is the newest of the newest! I can run Battlefield 2142 with everything on high with 120 frames per second!!1
Shadow: Yes… But does it run Pinball…?
Blain: Eeh… Dude, it runs everything on high…
Shadow: But does it run Pinball…?
Blain: …Yes…
Shadow: Then shove over, it’s my turn…
As soon Shadow starts up Pinball and is clicking on the keys like a maniac… A blue screen appears…
Shadow: O_o
Blain: ……
Shadow: I didn’t do nothing! I swear! O_o
“A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer.
If this is the first time you’ve seen this stop error screen, restart your computer. If this screen appears again, follow these steps:
Check for viruses on your computer. Remove any newly installed hard drives or hard drive controllers. Check your hard drive to make sure it is properly configured and terminated. Run chkdsk /F to check for hard drive corruption, and then restart your computer.
Technical information
***STOP: 0x0000007B (0xF898963C, 0xf0000034, 0x00000000 0x00000000***)”
Blain: …… Eehm… TECH SUPPORT TIME!!!1
So… Blain, like, called Tech Support again…
Helpdesk: Hello, Microsoft Helpdesk, how may I help you?
Blain: DUDE!! I, LIKE, TOTTALY GOT A BLUE SCREEN!!!
Helpdesk: Blue screens? Sir, that’s not possible. Microsoft is such an advanced operating system so that blue screens can not occur!
Blain: Whatever asshole. So what’s: STOP: 0x0000007B (0xF898963C, 0xf0000034, 0x00000000 0x00000000***)”
Helpdesk: No idea sir.
Blain: …
Helpdesk: ^-^
Blain: Well fix it!
Helpdesk: Ok, press Space, ESC, enter and numlock at the same time…
Blain presses the keys…
Helpdesk: Did you pressed the keys…? Blain: … Yes…
Helpdesk: Is it back to normal now? Blain: No…
Helpdesk: Well I tried; I’m going on break and have some pie.
Blain: Want me to come down there, rip your head off and shoot down your neck…?
Helpdesk: No… O_o
Blain: Then fix it…
Helpdesk: What?! No Bob! I cant have pie yet! I still got a customer on the line! …. What?! Yeah! I know! He keeps on doging of how bad Microsoft sucks!
Blain: Dude… What if I just-
Helpdesk: WHAT?!! WORSHIP THE GATES!! IF YOU DON’T, THEN PISS OFF TO LINUX OR APPLE!!! WE TRY OUR BEST TO HELP YOU!!!!
Blain: What if I just reboot…?
Helpdesk: Oh… Yeah, you can try that…
Blain: Thank you… Asshole…
Helpdesk: No problem sir…
Shadow: *sighs*… Piiiiiiiiiiiiinball…
Blain: Shut the hell up…
Shadow: Right-o!
Blain: T_T
Helpdesk: Did it worked…?
Blain: Yes… Bye… *hangs up*
Shadow: Where teh Pinball?!! ^w^
Blain: Shut the frack up…
Then Rouge came in…
Rouge: Whoa! Sweet!
Shadow: I know! Pinball!
Rouge: …
Shadow: ^w^
Rouge: *slaps Shadow*
Blain: So, whadda ya think?!
Rouge: … Sweet… Hey, I need to print something…
Blain: Printer is not installed yet…
Rouge: Well then do it!
So, 4 hours later, the printer is installed…
Blain: I think I got it…
Shadow: Pinball?
Blain: Shut up!!
Rouge: Great!
Blain: …
Rouge: So?
Blain: “Can not find printer”…
Then Knuckles came in…
Knuckles: Yo, yo, yo! Wassup homies!
Rouge: *slaps Knuckles*
Blain: “Can not find printer… Again…”
Knuckles: Hey! I know! *places printer in front of monitor*
All: O_o
Knuckles: He’s got to find it now!
Rouge: *slaps Knuckles*
Blain: ….. Still nothing…
Knuckles: I think your computer is blind Blain…
Rouge: *slaps Knuckles*
Shadow: … Where’s my Pinball…?
All: …
Blain: WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?!! YOU GUYS ARE DRIVING ME NUTS!!!
All: …
Knuckles: Hey… I know a joke… You wanna hear…?
All: No…
Knuckles: I’m gonna tell anyways…
All: T_T
Knuckles: What do you get when my fist… meets a sandwich…?
All: …
Rouge: Eehm… A battered up… sandwich…?
Knuckles: A KNUCKLE SANDWICH!!! *lmfao*
Shadow: What do you get when Knuckles has kids with Rouge… ?
Rouge: *glares at Shadow*
Blain: What?
Shadow: Disaster… *chuckles*
Rouge: … What do you get when Shadow’s onboard of the Space Colony ARK and sees his best friend Maria getting perforated…?
Shadow: O_o
Rouge: An Emo…
Knuckles: I know another one-
Blain: *dog-smacks Knuckles* I know one… Knock knock…
Knuckles: Who’s there…?
Blain: … frack you…
All: …………………
Knuckles: Good one! ^w^
Blain: … That was a rhetorical joke you @$$…
Rouge: He can’t help that he’s got an IQ of a broccoli Blain…
Knuckles: … Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey… That’s not nice…
Rouge: … *slaps Knuckles*
Computer: BLEEP BLEEP!!! MAIL MOTHERfrackER!!1
Blain: Oer! O_o *opens e-mail*
All: …
Blain: Knuckles…?
Knuckles: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeesh…?
Blain: Why the hell did you send me an email…?
Knuckles: … I got bored…
Blain: Ok… And… Why the hell is there an attachment with a picture of the Master Emerald in thongs…?
Knuckles: … Eehm… That was for me… Sorry…
Rouge: Can I…?
Blain: Yeah, go ahead Rouge.
Rouge: ^w^ *slaps Knuckles*
Shadow: Are you done yet…? I’m still waiting for my pinball…
Blain: Eeh… It says here that you need to download the automatic updates…
And so… Six hours later, the updates are done… Blain restarts… and…
Blain: ……
All: What?
Blain: “You are most likely to be a victim of illegal Windows software. Click here to solve it”.
Shadow: So… No pinball…?
Rouge: Eeh… Shush Shadow, I can see an anime vein popping up in his head…
Blain: …… Phone… Now…
Aaaaaaaaaand… He calls helpdesk… again…
Helpdesk: Hello, Microsoft Tech support, how can I help you?
Blain: … Yes… Well… I got LEGAL Windows XP… I downloaded the updates… and… I got a message saying I’m using illegal software…
Helpdesk: … Do you…?
Blain: NO!!! YOU frackING @$$ DICK SUCKER shoot PIECE OF TRASH dog GAYLORD!!!!
Helpdesk: … *cries*
Blain: …
Helpdesk: *sniffles* What…? Yeah… He called me a fracking @$$ dick sucker shoot piece of trash dog gaylord…
Everyone at the helpdesk gasped…
Helpdesk: … I need work therapy… I cant take it…
Blain: PUT ME THROUGH!!!!1
Helpdesk: EEK!!1 *hangs up*
Blain: *sighs* *dials number again* I swear, I’m gonna- Hello?!1
Helpdesk: Duuuuuuude… Like… Totally groovy… ‘Sup…?
After he explains the story… again…
Helpdesk: That’s like, totally bogus man… I’m sorry.
Blain: Finally… Someone normal for a change… So… Eeh… Is there a way to fix it…?
Helpdesk: Totally dude… Like, you gotta buy a new license key…
Blain: WHAT?!!!
Helpdesk: Totally…
Blain: … How much is that…?
Helpdesk: Not much dude… Like… $15 dollar for a license…
Blain: Really…?
Helpdesk: Totally…
Blain: That’s not much…
Helpdesk: Like, do you still have the XP cd’s…?
Blain: I.. eeh…. Never got a cd…
Helpdesk: Oh… Like, you need a cd dude… $394 dollars …
Blain: … Including the license…?
Helpdesk: Naah, are you shootting me…? Dude, it’s an OEM-version…
Blain: …
Helpdesk: Dude…?
Blain: …
Helpdesk: Dude…? You still there…?
Blain: …
Helpdesk: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!!
Blain: *hangs up phone*
Shadow: … Pinball…?
Rouge: Shut up… He’s about to blow… O_o
Blain gets out his weapons… And unplugs his computer and takes it outside… He grabs his weapons… Meanwhile… The others came too…
A.I Female voice: RRTS special ops clearance verified. Handle ID: Reaper.
Shadow: Pinball…?
After that, Blain perforated the computer…
Shadow: NJUUUUUUUUUUU!!!1 TEH PINBALL!!!1
Blain: You eeh… Wouldn’t have to have any C4 would ya…?
Shadow: *sniffles* Why…?
Blain: I’m gonna blow the Microsoft HQ…
Shadow: Oh goodie! ^w^
And so… Shadow and Blain blew the Microsoft building… Rouge continued slapping Knuckles many more times… Blain is out of ammo now… Oh yeah, like, Apple and Linux took over…
Teh end!!
Comments
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ShadowsGirlfriend1_0 on April 20, 2007, 6:37:53 AM
...I gots Microsux Windows XP, but that has not happened to me...yet. So far, I only get viruses that eat my data and stuff and the only way to get rid of them is to ERASE ALL the crap I have on the thing...*joins Blain and Shadow* I wanna slap some assholes too! Awesome work, couldn't have done better myself!Flashthehedgehog on April 19, 2007, 2:22:57 AM
LOL! The best ever! I love the Shadow joke! That is so true Microsoft suck. I was on this computer the other day and the crappy"You have performed an illegal action"
came up. I was like...*shifty eyes* "Er I didn't steal anything" *runs away*