Chapter 34 - The Party...

A remake of an old story that got deleted a looooong time ago… This is a long one so… Grab some cookies and milk! ^^

Enjoy!!


One Saturday morning… Breakfast time…



Blain: *yawns* ‘Morning…
Sonic: ‘Sup…
Rouge: Bwaa…
Shadow: *snores*
Knuckles: *giggles*
Blain: So… You guys had a rough night too huh…?
Sonic: Yeah… No thanks to Knuckles…
Knuckles: Sonic, how many times have I told you, I just gotta break your highscore at DDR…

Sonic: You suck at DDR…
Knuckles: I WILL break your highscore Sonic!!
Blain: So… Eh… What are you guys doing today…?
Sonic: Eeh… I don’t know…
Blain: Rouge…?
Rouge: I’m just gonna stare into blank space…
Blain: Why?
Rouge: Well, if you stare long enough without blinking your eyes, you’ll see those black spots moving around.
Blain: Right… Shadow…?
Shadow: Huh…? Whuzzat…?
Blain: What are you gonna do?
Shadow: I got a letter that I’m nominated for Emo of the Year awards.

Blain: Sounds exciting…
Shadow: Yeah I know, doesn’t it?
Blain: …
All: What?
Blain: You guys are boring…
Shadow: Yeah, let’s celebrate that…
Sonic: Why not…?
Shadow: Why what not?
Sonic: Throwing a party…
Knuckles: To celebrate Rouge got breast implants?

Rouge: *slaps Knuckles*
Sonic: No…
Blain: To celebrate we survived the war…?
Sonic: No…
Rouge: To celebrate today is the 56^th anniversary that Maria got perforated?
Shadow: *runs away crying*
Rouge: ^-^
Sonic: No… I mean, why can’t we just throw a party for the heck of it…?
Shadow: *peeks around corner* Not because Maria got perforated 56 years ago…? *sniffles*

Sonic: No…
Blain: We’re gonna have booze?
Sonic: *sneaky look* Yes…
Blain: Oh yeah… >w<
Rouge: What about the kids?
Sonic: What about them? Rouge: They can’t have booze…
Sonic: Why not?
Rouge: Well… Remember last time…?

***flashback***

Tails: OH MAN!!1 I’M GONNA GET SOOOOOOOOOOOO WASTED!!! *gropes Rouge* WELL HEY THERE!!! WHAT MIGHTY FINE TITS YOU HAVE!!!

Rouge: *Smacks Tails out of the window*

***flashback ends***

Sonic: Good point, we’ll just load ‘em up with sugar… Come on!! It’ll be kick @$$!!
Knuckles: So who’s invited?
Sonic: … Eh, everyone…
Blain: We need a DJ…
Knuckles: I know one… And he’s doing it for free…
All: Who?
Knuckles: Vector…
All: Aw come on!
Blain: Right… Well… Sonic, Shadow and I will do groceries then…
Shadow: Are we getting peanuts…?
Blain: … Sure, why not…

So, with that said, Sonic, Shadow and I went to the local supermarket while Knuckles invited people and arranged the DJ, and the others are cleaning up the house…



Sonic: Can I get to push the shopping cart?
Blain: … No, I’m pushing it…
Sonic: … Can I sit in the shopping cart seat then…?
Blain: You could if Shadow wasn’t sitting there… And I’m fracking embarrassed by him… Don’t mind my dignity. I’m just pushing a 50 year old hedgehog in a shopping cart.

Sonic: … What if I sit IN the shopping cart…?
Blain: Then we wouldn’t have room to put the groceries in now would we?
Shadow: OMG!!! STOP!!!1

Shadow jumped out of the cart and went to see a rack with… Peanuts…


Shadow: Oh man, take a look at that…
Blain: What?
Shadow: So many peanuts… I can’t choose…
Blain: Just pick one…
Shadow: Hmm… The salted peanuts… Or the roasted ones…?
Blain: …
Shadow: No wait, what about the king-sized ones…
Blain: Just pick som-
Shadow: NO!!! The Japanese ones… definitely the Japanese- OHMYGOSH!!!1
Blain: HURRY UP FOR frackS SAKE!!1
Shadow: *girly scream* The ones coated in a crispy jacket that taste like bacon.. Or wait… What if I just-

Blain: AAAAAAAAAAAGRH!!!1 *bashed down rack and all the peanut bags fall in the shopping cart*

Shadow: Teehee… Thanks… I’m in peanut heaven… *giggles*
Blain: Right… Next up, booze…
Sonic: RACE YA THERE!!!

So we all ran to the booze department like some fracking idiots…



Sonic: Oh man… I died and I’m in heaven…
Blain: *whispers to Shadow* I didn’t know Sonic liked alcohol…
Shadow: *whispers back* That’s because Sonic was an alcoholic…
Blain: He was…?
Shadow: Yup… He went to visit AA meetings…

***Flashback***

Guy: … And that’s *hic* how I luuuuuuurv beer…

Everyone claps



Guy: Very nice. Anyone else wanna share something?
Sonic: I do!! *races up podium*
All: O_o
Sonic: Hello… Eh… My name is Sonic…
All: Hey Sonic!!
Sonic: I’ve been off the alcohol for… 5 minutes now… But I’ve got a problem…

Guy: Very good Sonic, admitting you have a problem is the first step to solve it! What is your problem…? Say it out loud… Don’t be afraid…

Sonic: I GOT A WEDGIE BUT IT’S NOT GOING AWAAAAAAY!!! *cries*

***flashback ends***

Sonic: I remember this… *picks bottle of Absinth*
All: O_o
Sonic: Ah… 56% alcohol… *fills entire shopping cart with Absinth*
Blain: What’s next?
Shadow: Applejuice! ^-^
All: …
Shadow: I mean, Apfelkorn!!
Blain: What the frack is Apfelkorn…
Shadow: German liquor, applejuice with alcohol.

Sonic was throwing a lot of stuff in the cart…


Sonic: … Bacardi, Smirnoff, Irish Dew, Johnny Walker, El Picu, Malibu, Passoa, Feightling, Stolichnaya...

Blain: What the frack is Stolichnaya...?
Sonic: Russian vodka comrade...
Blain: Ah... Load it up...
Sonic: Да господин! Господин права отсутствующий!

Blain: What the frack?
Shadow: Was that Russian? O_o
Sonic: Da.
Blain: … I’m not gonna ask…
Shadow: Where the hell did he learned Russian anyway…?
Blain: I don’t wanna know…

Shadow: Oh, I remembered something….
Sonic: what?
Shadow: We need an alternative for the kids…
Blain: …. *throws in 30 bags of sugar in cart*
All: O_o
Blain: There, all set.

So like, many hours later… We had 4 shopping carts full of stuff…



Shadow: Wait… How are we gonna pay for this…?
Blain: I stole Knuckle’s credit card…
Shadow: I didn’t know he had one…
Blain: Neither did he…

*long silence*

All: LMFAO!!!1

And like, we were next. We placed all the stuff on the counter… Then this asshat with bucktooth behind the counter said…



Clerk: Ah… You boys are gonna have a party?
Blain: Yup…
Clerk: Can I come…?
Blain: … We don’t even know you…
Clerk: Please?
Blain: No…
Clerk: Ok, well, I guess you can’t buy the booze then.
Sonic: Why not?
Clerk: *points to sign that says: “No booze allowed for people that have parties when I’m not invited. Or for anyone who’s still a kid.”

Blain: Dude, I’m not a kid…
Clerk: Show me some ID then!

We turned around and bent over in a circle whispering…



Shadow: Oh man, we’re so fracked… We’re so fracked…!!
Sonic: Sssh!!!
Shadow: I’m not SSH’ing for you!!
Blain: Shut the hell up!! He’s as blind as a fracking bat! Don’t worry, I got this covered… *scribbles something on paper*

So we turned around again and we all smiled like angels…



Clerk: You got an ID…?
Blain: Eh, yeah sure. *shows paper*

Identification number: 1234567890

Name: Blain the Hedgehog

Age: High enough to buy booze



The guy put on his glasses to read… We were shootting our pants in anticipation, while we remained our angel smiles… It took so damn long…



Shadow: *whispers* This isn’t gonna work…
Blain: *whispers* How the frack should I know he had reading glasses…?

Clerk: Ok, you’re good… Am I still invited for the party?
Blain: No…
Clerk: Oh…

So after we payed the nice man, we were packing our stuff…



Clerk: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait…
Blain: *whispers* Oh frack…
Clerk: You forgot your ID card…
Blain: You can keep it…
Clerk: Thank you, and come again!

Then we ran like hell all packed up with the groceries…


Clerk: I wish I had friends…
Customer: I would like to buy this ham!
Clerk: … You got any ID…?

So, we finally made it back home…



Sonic: HOLY shoot!!!!
All: WHAT?!1
Sonic: I forgot something…
All: WHAT?!!!1
Sonic: Party hats…
All: O_o
Sonic: You can’t have a party without party hats!!!

As night was falling, more and more people started to drip in…



Big: HAYUK HAYUK!!!1
Blain: What the frack is wrong with him?! O_o
Sonic: Catnip overdose...
Blain: Ah.
Big: *giggles and faints*

Vector was there at the DJ booth… Playing horrible music… Rouge was arguing with Knuckles… They both got drunk…



Amy: You look so cute with Knuckles…
Rouge: OH YEAH?!!! WELL!! DON’T LET HIS CUTE LOOKS FOOL YOU!!! HE MAKES CHICKEN NOISES IN HIS SLEEP!!!

Knuckles: I DO NOT!!!
Rouge: AND HE HASN’T PAYED CHILD SUPPORT FOR OVER 6 MONTHS!!!!1 SIX MONTHS I TELL YOU!!!!!11

Knuckles: WE DON’T EVEN HAVE KIDS!!!!!1
Rouge: … Wanna make some…?
Knuckles: … ‘K…

Aaaaaand… They both ran upstairs… I wish them good luck… -_-'



Blain: Yo Vector!!
Vector: YO!!1
Blain: Play something else, you’ve been playing the same song for the last 3 hours!!

Vector: Wot?! Vanilla Ice is the shoot!!
Blain: Well play something else!!
Vector: How about I’z gonna rap?!
Blain: Sure, just, turn down that godawful shoot…

So Vector puts up a nice beat… He gets out a microphone…



Vector: Yo!! This be for my main dawgs, Sonic and his posse!! We’re gonna kick it like old skool!! BAZAAAM!!!1 Ya’ll ready?!1

And… Everyone stared at Vector with a… “WTF” look… No one talked. The only thing we heard was the beat… Then he started rapping…


Vector: Hey hey hey, it's OG Loc, homie!! I'm gonna kick it a little something like this!! Hey yo', when I came through up in the place!! You don't want me to call with a gun in your face!! I feel it harder, Than anybody in the world could do!! Just like a- *gets a bottle of beer thrown at head*

All: BOO!!! YOU SUUUUUUUCK!!!
Vector: Obviously NO taste… My raps are whack… *sniffles* *gets another bottle thrown at his head and passes out*

So, after the others took over the DJ booth and locked Vector up in a closet, GOOD music was played… Anyway, I went over to Sonic and Shadow to see how they were doing…



Shadow: Hey Sonic!! Wanna have a pure Absinth?!
Sonic: Sure!
Shadow: Bottoms up!
Sonic: Hey Shjadow?! Wanna hjave another one?!
Shadow: Sjure!!1
Sonic: Bjottoms up!!
Shadow: Hjey Shjonic?! Wjanna hjave anothew one….?!
Sonic: Ssssssshjuuuuuuuuure!!
Shadow: Bjottomsh up…
Sonic: Yjo Sshjahdow….?
Shadow; Yjuuuuuush…..?
Sonic: Wjanna have anotha oooone…?
Shadow: SSSSSSHJUUUUUUUUUUUURE!!!!1
Sonic: Butts up…
Shadow: *passes out*
Sonic: Yo Bljain?! Yshou wjant ooone tjoooooooo?!
Blain: Eh, no thanks…
Sonic: Yjou djont knjow whjat ya mjisshing!! Djid anyonej evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah tell yjou thjat yjou look ljike a djick?!

Blain: … *slaps Sonic*
Sonic: *giggles* Djo it agjain!!1 It fjunny!!1
Blain: … *punches Sonic*
Sonic: *passes out*

Then Tails flew against the wall a couple of times… And… Charmee got his stinger stuck in the wall…



Tails: SUGARY GOODNESS!!!1 *dives in bag of sugar*
Cream: AAAAAAAAAJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!1!!11

… I just took a few Bacardi mixed with coke… I got a bit tipsy I guess… Then someone bumped into me, making me spill my stuff… I looked down on Espio…



Espio: Oh whoops! Sorry Blain!
Blain: … *cleans himself with tissue* You made me use me last tissue…
Espio: …
Blain: Now I don’t have any…
Espio: Here, have a tissue…

He gave me a tissue and I carefully looked at it… Espio tried to sneak away, but I grabbed him by his neck and pulled him over…



Blain: This aint double sided tissues...
Espio: S-so?!
Blain: You aint expecting single sided tissues to absorb liquid that fast as double sided tissues do you?

Espio: What’s your problem!?
Blain: It takes longer to dry myself now…
Espio: But-
Blain: SHUT THE HELL UP ASSPIO!!!11

Espio: But-
Blain: NO!!!! DON’T TALK TO ME!!! DON’T TALK TO ME CRIMINAL!!!!!1
Espio: … *runs away*

Ok, maybe I was a bit tipsy… But Shadow and Sonic were on the Absinth again…



Shadow: I shjee you Shjonic!!
Sonic: I shjee you tjooooooooooo!!! ^-^


At around 5:00 am, everyone left except for us… We all sleep on the ground or couch…



The next day… Late in the afternoon…



Shadow: *mumbles* I ple… I pledge alliance… t-to the united mo… mo… mo… monkeys of… Ur… Ur… U-Ur anus…

Tails: SUUUUUUUUUUUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Shadow: *slaps Tails* Sh-shut the hell up…
Blain: Urgh…

Meanwhile… Upstairs… Knuckles and Rouge are in the same bed…



Knuckles: Mwhuh… ‘Morning Rouge…
Rouge: *yawns* Morning…

Then they looked at each other…


Rouge: O_o
Knuckles: O_o
Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!1

Sonic: Whuzzat sooooound……?
Shadow: Izza lawnmower…

Then Knuckles fell down the stairs…



Knuckles: I-I… Don’t say I did something with Rouge…
Blain: … You never made it to the stairs Knuckles…
Knuckles: Oh… Good…
Blain: But Rouge did…
Knuckles: O_o *faints*
Blain: El Oh El… *passes out*
Sonic: God, everyone seems to pass ou- *passes out*
Shadow: Yuuuuuuuuush… I don’t…

Amy: I gotta remember Rouge’s plan… *looks at Sonic*
Tails: This was fun guys! Same time next week!?
All: O_o

End! O_o

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