Chapter 8 - Hidden emotions

I promised myself I wouldn’t do it but it’s getting harder and harder not to. I hide them all to resist but I know I’ll find a way too my body is giving up on me its hurting and gorging pain the fullness and emptiness at the same time. Time consumes me it goes slow and fast at one moment I’ll be laughing with my friends the next I’ll be in my bedroom all the lights off contemplating if I should live or die. Die the die is cast whatever it lands on will be the choice even I don’t know what the numbers equal but I guess my gut knows so I will have to show trust. Trust is hard to abide by you say you won’t tell but something will slip. Slip of the hand and blood is drawn it slowly runs down my arm and drips onto the floor must clean it up before someone see’s. See’s a good candy but I see’s me and I don’t like what is there. There is a pit in my stomach it’s deep and is sucking up my emotions and spitting up the bad ones it feeds on good thoughts. Thoughts in my head forever racing around a track an infinite dog track. Track of mind I am derailed from my track I am stopped at a repair shop the repairs will take a long time, distance. Distance away from that person I once was I run towards him and I don’t get any closer. Closer to my inner truth my mind set my true me who I am what makes me special. Special people are everywhere they have yet to see it inside themselves but they have it in their soul. Soul, mine is lost along the path of the derailed train it forever floats along looking for that one part that was lost. Lost I am forever lost, lost in this world that somehow still is here. Here I am still here and here I will stay. Stay here and forever see your thoughts closer trust track of mind slip here and don’t get lost or die.

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