Chapter 1 - Dear 2D...

Dear 2D,

Help! I was swimming in the lake when I started drowning! I can't swim! Aaah! Help, I can't breathe! Please answer soon before I----

Urgently, Help Me I'm Drowning




Dear Help Me I'm Drowning,

Well that isnt a good fing to be drowning, is it? My advic is to yell and screem for help. Hopefuly sum1 wil come and sayv you. Oh and it woud be a gud idea to take sum swimming lesons wile your at it, too. Betr to be safe than sory. My aunty tot me how to swimm when i was litle..actually dun't reminde me about that, that experienc wos what made me scaredd of clowns today...anyway, I hope this helpd you.

--Best luk, 2D






Dear 2D,

I really, really want this hot new video game, but I am so broke. I hate doing chores so I don't get allowance. How can I make money fast without doing chores?

Thanks, I Want Money Now




Dear I Want Money Now,

I have the prfect fingk for you. You start an awsum band (lik the Gorillaz but less cool by th way) and becom the leed singer like me (but stil less cool). You'll hav moneye coming out yourr ears in no time. It may tayk a couple of yeers for all this too happen, but it's worth a tri.

--Hope this helpd, 2D






Dear 2D,

There is this girl who is so hot, I think she's awesome. I seriously want to go out with her. I thought you could help me figure out how to get her to like me, too, since you're really popular with the ladies.

Sincerely, Likes a Really Cute Girl




Dear Likes a Really Cute Girl,

First off: Mayk absolutely sur that you dont hav any frends that r like Murdoc, or els you'll lose her. Trust me, that's hapend to mee too many tims...anyway, treet her nice. Give her lots of flowrs and choclites, that kind of stuff. And when she asks you if she luks fat in her jeanz, fink it out for a long tyme befor you say anyfin, or you'll end up wif a blak eye and no mor girlfrend. (That wos from experienc....)

--Hope this helpd you, 2D






Dear 2D,

LyK3 OmfGZZorz U RaWK mAI EfffiiiiN saWKs OFF!!!!!!1111 Lyk3 Willll j00 gO Outt WIff mE???///

Fr0m, Lyk3 Ummm DO i typ3 my NAme Herrr LOl!!!!!!!!111111



Dear Lyk3 Ummm DO i typ3 my NAme Herrr LOl!!!!!!!!111111,

Wow, you hav a long name. And to anserr your qwestion, um....it's in the back yard? O___o;;;;

--Hope I understud your typink, 2D






Dear 2D,

My parents are making me go to summer school because I failed my freshman year. I am so bummed cuz it wasn't my fault I failed, all my teachers hated me! How can I avoid going to summer school?

Love, Summer School Sucks



Dear Summer School Sucks,

I fink I can hellp you on this one. Rite before you hav to go, cach a plane to Tibet. Fiynd a place there to staye for the summr, and then come bak before skool starts agin in the fal. Or you can pretind that you hav smalpox or somthing like that, but you'l hav to be abl to act really gud. Or u could run away, that's alwayes a good choise.

--Bestt wishes, 2D






Dear 2D,

I made this awesome band a couple of years back, but the vocalist is a complete idiot. He's really starting to get on my nerves. 24/7, he frustrates the whole band with his retarded blue hair, clinginess, and microscopic I.Q. level. Do you have any advice on how to get this idiot out of my band?

From Hates the Lead Singer


Dear Hates the Lead Singer,

Wel, if you ask me, I think that blue hare is quite atractiv...anyways, maybee you shuld talk to him. Maybe he is jus misundrstud or somefink. Perhapps ther is someone in the band he also has a problim with? Ther's a sertain bassist in my band that I don't..................wait a minut.......................Murdoc, is that you?? You hav an auful lot of nerve to be writing to me about me. >:|

--No luk, 2D

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment