Chapter 2 - Meow?
Submitted September 20, 2006 Updated September 21, 2006 Status Incomplete | Yeah, kinda weird I think. Tell me what you think. All of the gods in here are totally made up and I do not believe they exist. |
Chapter 2 - Meow?
Chapter 2 - Meow?
I don't like this chapter that much. Too much talking.
He was taken to a musty little house on the other side of the village. It was absolutely filthy. Garbage such as old food, dirty clothes, dirt and mud all piled up in corners along with the mildew. Sprk set him down on the floor of a rotting wood floor and went and lit a candle.
“Sorry, its so...filthy, your highness.” he said.
Chiyu went over and swatted at a cockroach that was trying to run away from him.
“Does it have mice?” he asked.
“Why, yes.”
“It’s fine then.”
“Anything I can get you?” Sprk said getting down on his knees, on his level.
“I think I’ll look around a bit, if you don’t mind?”
“Of course! My house is your... house.” but his face went sour as he jumped up onto his couch and began scratching at it a bit. Then jumping up onto a table beside the couch he accidently knocked over a cup that went and shattered on the floor. He looked over at Sprk expecting him to say something but his face lit into a smile before he couldn’t see the other face he was making. “Oh! I hated that cup!” he laughed nervously.
Chiyu nodded jumping to what he thought was another table but it ended up being a huge stack of papers and they all fell as he slid onto them.
He then went into his bedroom not noticing what he was doing.
It was an old sagging one person bed with all the windows covered up with black curtains. He could see all sorts of bugs crawling around in the carpet.
He jumped up onto the bed and crawled at it a bit. It was horribly uncomfortable. He then pranced into kitchen. It had the worst smell of bad rotting smell of food but then noticed: the mouse. Over in the corner fluffing up it’s fur. He went blind to all the things around him and made a mad dash for the mouse knocking over a pile of dirty dishes as he slid out of the kitchen after it into the living room. He chased it until it ran under the couch and not able to stop he slammed into its side. He still clawed madly at the side of it and the carpet underneath.
Sprk came around and picked up by his belly braking him from his trance.
“Your highness! You must be starving, fish yes?”
He went and placed him onto a chair with a table and went into the kitchen coming back a few minutes later with a fried fish on a plate. He turned into his human form for he would have a hard time eating the large fish without breaking it up first. Something thumbs were very good at doing.
He set the plate down with the most fake smile he’s ever seen and seeing him in his human form went and fetched a fork and knife and a cup full of milk. The fish actually wasn’t that bad and gave him recognition and along with fish he loved milk. He jumped from the table turning to cat again leaving the nothing but bowl still on the table for he had eaten the bones too.
“If there isn’t anything I can do for you your highness then can I be dismissed.”
Chiyu though for a second. “Open that window over yonder and you are free for a bit.”
Sprk grumpily went over and opened his window. He hated opening his window but then quickly retied to his room to read a bit to clear his head. He laid on his bed and began to reading but a few minutes in heard something. It was Chiyu.
“Meow!”
Then distinctively different toned cat. “Meow!”
Then Chiyu again. “Meeoow!”
Then what sounded like a chorus of two or three cats. “Meeoow!”
Then Chiyu once again. “Meeeeooooww!!!”
Then a whole group of cats at least ten or so. “Meeeeooooww!!!”
He jumped from his seat and rushed into the living room finding Chiyu sitting on the window sill a whole heard of cats or twenty or so just outside his house watching intently. He could see even more on their way running from all ends of the village.
“Gah! Get those filthy, er...I mean adorable things away from my house!”
Chiyu turned around flicking his tail.
He was taken to a musty little house on the other side of the village. It was absolutely filthy. Garbage such as old food, dirty clothes, dirt and mud all piled up in corners along with the mildew. Sprk set him down on the floor of a rotting wood floor and went and lit a candle.
“Sorry, its so...filthy, your highness.” he said.
Chiyu went over and swatted at a cockroach that was trying to run away from him.
“Does it have mice?” he asked.
“Why, yes.”
“It’s fine then.”
“Anything I can get you?” Sprk said getting down on his knees, on his level.
“I think I’ll look around a bit, if you don’t mind?”
“Of course! My house is your... house.” but his face went sour as he jumped up onto his couch and began scratching at it a bit. Then jumping up onto a table beside the couch he accidently knocked over a cup that went and shattered on the floor. He looked over at Sprk expecting him to say something but his face lit into a smile before he couldn’t see the other face he was making. “Oh! I hated that cup!” he laughed nervously.
Chiyu nodded jumping to what he thought was another table but it ended up being a huge stack of papers and they all fell as he slid onto them.
He then went into his bedroom not noticing what he was doing.
It was an old sagging one person bed with all the windows covered up with black curtains. He could see all sorts of bugs crawling around in the carpet.
He jumped up onto the bed and crawled at it a bit. It was horribly uncomfortable. He then pranced into kitchen. It had the worst smell of bad rotting smell of food but then noticed: the mouse. Over in the corner fluffing up it’s fur. He went blind to all the things around him and made a mad dash for the mouse knocking over a pile of dirty dishes as he slid out of the kitchen after it into the living room. He chased it until it ran under the couch and not able to stop he slammed into its side. He still clawed madly at the side of it and the carpet underneath.
Sprk came around and picked up by his belly braking him from his trance.
“Your highness! You must be starving, fish yes?”
He went and placed him onto a chair with a table and went into the kitchen coming back a few minutes later with a fried fish on a plate. He turned into his human form for he would have a hard time eating the large fish without breaking it up first. Something thumbs were very good at doing.
He set the plate down with the most fake smile he’s ever seen and seeing him in his human form went and fetched a fork and knife and a cup full of milk. The fish actually wasn’t that bad and gave him recognition and along with fish he loved milk. He jumped from the table turning to cat again leaving the nothing but bowl still on the table for he had eaten the bones too.
“If there isn’t anything I can do for you your highness then can I be dismissed.”
Chiyu though for a second. “Open that window over yonder and you are free for a bit.”
Sprk grumpily went over and opened his window. He hated opening his window but then quickly retied to his room to read a bit to clear his head. He laid on his bed and began to reading but a few minutes in heard something. It was Chiyu.
“Meow!”
Then distinctively different toned cat. “Meow!”
Then Chiyu again. “Meeoow!”
Then what sounded like a chorus of two or three cats. “Meeoow!”
Then Chiyu once again. “Meeeeooooww!!!”
Then a whole group of cats at least ten or so. “Meeeeooooww!!!”
He jumped from his seat and rushed into the living room finding Chiyu sitting on the window sill a whole heard of cats or twenty or so just outside his house watching intently. He could see even more on their way running from all ends of the village.
“Gah! Get those filthy, er...I mean adorable things away from my house!”
Chiyu turned around flicking his tail.
Comments
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ladychaos on September 21, 2006, 6:14:58 PM
ladychaos on
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i don't think theirs too much talking in it, a good dialogue between characters is important, it alows the reader to establish what the relationship between the characters is. No dialogue atall would be like miming out the entire story which in some cases isn't a great idea, do you know what i meen?