Angelish redone
Submitted January 19, 2007 Updated September 3, 2007 Status Incomplete | Angelish with more detail! ^^ I reposted chapter one with even more detail and chapter two is up as well! :)
Category:
Miscellaneous » Characters » Written Characters » Female |
Chapters
Chapter 1 - one
Submitted: January 19, 2007 • Updated: September 2, 2007
Word count: 3240 • Size: 17k • Comments: 2 • views: 343
Chapter 2 - Chapter two
Submitted: March 19, 2007 • Updated: March 19, 2007
Word count: 1246 • Size: 6k • Comments: 1 • views: 258
Chapter 3 - chapter 3
Submitted: April 16, 2007 • Updated: April 16, 2007
Word count: 909 • Size: 4k • Comments: 1 • views: 234
Chapter 4 - Chapter 4
Submitted: April 16, 2007 • Updated: September 2, 2007
Word count: 2007 • Size: 10k • Comments: 0 • views: 279
Chapter 5 - chapter 5
Submitted: April 17, 2007 • Updated: April 17, 2007
Word count: 643 • Size: 3k • Comments: 1 • views: 264
Chapter 6 - chapter 6
Submitted: April 17, 2007 • Updated: April 17, 2007
Word count: 903 • Size: 4k • Comments: 1 • views: 239
Chapter 7 - chapter 7
Submitted: April 17, 2007 • Updated: April 17, 2007
Word count: 1114 • Size: 6k • Comments: 1 • views: 305
Chapter 8 - chapter 8
Submitted: April 17, 2007 • Updated: April 17, 2007
Word count: 1879 • Size: 9k • Comments: 1 • views: 304
Chapter 9 - chapter 9
Submitted: April 17, 2007 • Updated: September 3, 2007
Word count: 2370 • Size: 12k • Comments: 1 • views: 304
Chapter 10 - another chapter
Submitted: May 15, 2007 • Updated: May 15, 2007
Word count: 925 • Size: 4k • Comments: 3 • views: 284
Chapter 11 - chapter 11
Submitted: June 18, 2007 • Updated: June 18, 2007
Word count: 819 • Size: 4k • Comments: 5 • views: 293
Chapter 12 - Chapter 12
Submitted: August 7, 2007 • Updated: September 3, 2007
Word count: 715 • Size: 3k • Comments: 4 • views: 239
Comments
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orliej16 on August 26, 2007, 1:44:29 AM
summerstorm on August 10, 2007, 2:22:31 AM
Yeah, this chapter is really good at creating atmosphere. The dream/vision thing she had was very creepy and evocative...it reminded me of the Voldy scenes too! How much are they going to make poor Buzz do before she snaps? Or will she snap...?
Oh, randomly...I liked the detail about Allison not liking being yelled at. I totally identify with that. (I'm a poet like the guy in the middle throne!)
Good chapter! Yay! Update again soon!
dancing_thru_life on August 8, 2007, 11:04:41 AM
Dun Dun Dun! The creepy dreamlike setting reminds me a bit of the Voldy scenes in Harry Potter. (That's not a bad thing, don't worry.) You did use the word 'figure' a few too many times, as you said on your profile, but it's not necessarily a big deal.
I'm trying to remember if Emily was a character earlier in the story... I vaguely remember a girl with that name...
I will probably go over the last few chapters some time soon, just to see if she appears in any of them.
(Obviously, I have terrible memory for that kind of thing.)
I like this chapter. Even though it is short, it presents an accurately creepy atmosphere, and the detail is more apparent than it was in previous chapters. YAY JOA!
_theater_freak_147 on August 8, 2007, 2:09:46 PM
Yay! Thanks for the comment Dan! Oh hey I just relized that the guy in the middle throne rhymes in the last thing he says. Haha...summerstorm on June 20, 2007, 12:30:40 AM
I like it despite its shortness, though. Your characters are becoming more and more believable as the story goes on! And as they become more believable, I'm realizing more and more...you're right, Allison is so totally you! You probably would've said a speech exactly like that in her position, wouldn't you've? lol
dancing_thru_life on August 8, 2007, 11:08:05 AM
Oh Jebus Ellen, everyone knows that 'Allison' is, was, and always will be Joa-chan. I wonder if any of my characters are like me... (I don't think they are... but...)summerstorm on July 23, 2007, 4:04:13 AM
Hey, Jo...WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO POST ANOTHER CHAPTER???
I'm waiting....lol :) Please update soon!
orliej16 on July 10, 2007, 5:16:00 AM
ooooooh...making a speech..!!! I know how Allison feels in this sort of situations!!
I hate speeches!!
But I think she did pretty wel actually XD
orliej16 on July 10, 2007, 5:11:31 AM
wow...I got confused when I read about the corpdivision thingies XDBut stil..Great chapter! XD
orliej16 on July 10, 2007, 5:05:35 AM
Chapter 10, chapter 10, chapter 10, chapter 10!!!!!!!!orliej16 on June 26, 2007, 11:04:58 PM
wow!!Youve definetley put more detail in the story!! I really like it!! ^0^
Please, keep writing!! ^^
dancing_thru_life on June 18, 2007, 6:41:43 AM
Heh. I have the habit of saying 'uh' and 'um' too much also!Nice chapter. ^_^
_theater_freak_147 on June 18, 2007, 6:32:22 AM
Really really short!dancing_thru_life on June 3, 2007, 12:37:17 AM
Ohmigosh! We learned about the "Corp, Division, Brigade, Regiment, and Company" thing in Social Studies! Woo! Brilliant chapter, though I think I already read the original draft during English last week. (Oops) I also put up another one of my chapters. (If that matters...)summerstorm on May 27, 2007, 2:28:10 AM
Wow, I love this new chapter! Great detail. This is such a cool story. :)orliej16 on May 3, 2007, 8:21:38 PM
Mark...he sure sounds cute! ^-^'Wait...I was gonna draw him right?? Thats what Im gonna do right now!^^
I'll let you know when its finished^^
orliej16 on May 3, 2007, 8:11:26 PM
oooh...KEEP WRITING!! ^0^orliej16 on May 3, 2007, 8:01:53 PM
aaaw..I really pity allison :(:( oooh.. chapter 6, here I come ! ^0^
kiiwii on May 2, 2007, 12:35:53 AM
ooh awesome :D ^^ keep up the good work;)orliej16 on April 26, 2007, 8:08:23 AM
0.0Just keep writing! Thats all I have to say...0.0
Im gonna read the next chapters!! ^0^
you rock!!^^
orliej16 on March 22, 2007, 4:03:00 AM
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh even better than the first chapter of the redone version!!! This is really great!^0^
Keep writing^0^
orliej16 on January 19, 2007, 8:17:49 AM
wow...just... wow...To tell you the truth: I like this version of the story even better!!^^ I really like the changes you made! Even more detail than it already had! This is very good! I think you should delete the old version and post this one instead. Thats what I would do^^ Thnx so much for asking me to tell you what I'd think of it!^^ That really means alot to me!^^
Well done!! ^0^