Dragon Magician

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Dragon Magician

Author
evil_roleplaying_closet_monkey

Submitted
June 7, 2005
Updated
June 7, 2005
Status
Incomplete

Chapters: 1
Size: 0k
Words: 160
Comments: 1
Views: 454
Faves...: 0
Rating: 0

Jarren Tyson awakens on his 15th birthday which known to his parents culture was his "Day of manhood"....

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Category: Miscellaneous » Writing » Action/Adventure

Chapters

Chapter 1 - Day of Manhood-ch1
Submitted: June 7, 2005 • Updated: June 7, 2005
Word count: 160 • Size: <1k • Comments: 1 • views: 131

Comments

Comments (1)

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Blue_Haired_Girl on June 20, 2005, 6:09:07 AM

Blue_Haired_Girl on June 20, 2005, 6:09:07 AM (Chapter: 1)

This is quite good. Very decriptive and interseting so far...only you reused the word face within about the same sentense, maybe you should change one to a diff. word...or subbstitute face with 'it' the second time you use it or something. Overall I really liked this, is there more?