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Chapter 1 - funnyness

Chapter 1 - funnyness

Chapter 1 - funnyness
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and
I'll pray for you.



This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The
only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly
every morning when he awoke.



The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and
make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop
ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't
stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor;
she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went
by and he continued to blast them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where
her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
turkey guts into his shorts.



Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which
was followed by a bloodcurdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps
as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
tears in her eyes! After years of torture, she reckoned she had got him
back pretty good..

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked
him what was the matter.


He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I
didn't listen to you."



"What do you mean?" asked his wife.



"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
and today it finally happened!"



But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most
of them back in.!"

Comments

Comments (33)

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punkrocker on July 18, 2005, 1:30:24 PM

punkrocker on
punkrockerI can't stop laughing*still laughing*

DjSonic on July 16, 2005, 6:21:19 AM

DjSonic on
DjSonicHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH!! *starts to cry from laffin so hard* thats so sick hahahahahhahahahaha

Ruby_Luffys_Musician_and_Lover on July 2, 2005, 5:13:44 PM

Ruby_Luffys_Musician_and_Lover on
Ruby_Luffys_Musician_and_Lover*Dies from laughing* HAHAHAHAHA *wipes tear*

killagamelord on May 25, 2005, 8:54:33 AM

killagamelord on
killagamelordi thank all who comment on this

jura on May 24, 2005, 11:07:40 AM

jura on
juraHahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahahhahaahahhahahahahhahaha(dies...comes back to life)hahahhaahhahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhhahahahahaha(dies...again)

Necromancer_of_Death on April 22, 2005, 9:14:43 AM

Necromancer_of_Death on
Necromancer_of_Death*dies lauging* oh my god! I love that joke!! lol !!! so funny !!! *faves*

killagamelord on April 14, 2005, 9:54:52 AM

killagamelord on
killagamelordthey weren't his guts remember*knocks on head*

Demonspite on April 7, 2005, 12:22:49 AM

Demonspite on
DemonspiteOh... My... fracking... God... I'm both totally grossed out, and struggling not to laugh my @$$ off (I'm in my school, and I've got to keep up my reputation of "evil depressed psycho".)
But I can't help but wonder...
HOW'D HE FIT THEM ALL UP HIS @$$!? (I have a feeling I'm the only one who thought of that...)

SoloAzume on April 4, 2005, 8:46:43 AM

SoloAzume on
SoloAzumeO.O; No comment...

Blood_Dagger on March 29, 2005, 1:17:31 PM

Blood_Dagger on
Blood_Daggeroh oh *gasp**gasp* HAHAHAHAHA *bangs head against the wall* hahah omg omg omg omg *sniffles* awsome haha
oh wow nice very nice Wa HAHAH *wipes tears from eyes* holy holy nice so funny!!! NICE!