Angel Harmony
Submitted May 27, 2006 Updated May 27, 2006 Status Incomplete | Her name is Aurelia. She is the princess of Angel Land, destined to become the Orchid Angel of Peace. She hates sitting around doing nothing, and so she trains in the art of war against her mother's wishes. She's a skilled archer, and is also part of a s
Category:
Games » - by Publisher » Nintendo » Super Smash Bros. |
Chapters
Chapters
Chapter 1 - A Friend in Need
Submitted: May 27, 2006 • Updated: May 27, 2006
Word count: 1138 • Size: 6k • Comments: 2 • views: 488
Chapter 2 - Arrows of Light
Submitted: May 27, 2006 • Updated: May 27, 2006
Word count: 989 • Size: 5k • Comments: 0 • views: 452
Comments
You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment
Nintendo_Nut on July 4, 2006, 5:57:09 AM
Nintendo_Nut on (Chapter: index)
Nintendo_Nut on May 30, 2006, 10:43:11 AM
Nintendo_Nut on (Chapter: 1)
Aw, what a cute little tale! ^^ Can't wait to see what's next.
Though, you need to have paragraph breaks whenever a new person speaks to avoid confusion, and work on your description and word choice. A Thesaurus is your best friend!
I know, I sound a bit too critical, but I only wish to help you, honestly! This story has so much potential! Always work to better yourself!
Can't wait for the next chappie! YAAY PIT!!!!
Though, you need to have paragraph breaks whenever a new person speaks to avoid confusion, and work on your description and word choice. A Thesaurus is your best friend!
I know, I sound a bit too critical, but I only wish to help you, honestly! This story has so much potential! Always work to better yourself!
Can't wait for the next chappie! YAAY PIT!!!!
I like it! You've improved since last chapter, though it's still all bunched together. That might not be your fault, though; try double-entering after every paragraph and make a funky symbol for scene changes. That's what I've been forced to do my whole FF.net career. :)
I like how the story's progressing, and hey! Your description of the arrows helped me with my own SSBB Pit story I'm working on! Awesome! I'll let you know when I post it on ff.net, though it will be part three in a series that you might have to read to get the whole gitz of it.
But I've rambled on and on. Can't wait for next chappie! ^^