Finish Line
Submitted September 9, 2006 Updated September 9, 2006 Status Complete | I based this off a fantastic finish yesterday at the cross country meet...I didn't place very high (hey, I never do), but it was probably the best finish I ever have had. Period. You know the drill: Read and critique.
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Chapters
Chapters
Chapter 1 - Finish Line
Submitted: September 9, 2006 • Updated: September 9, 2006
Word count: 912 • Size: 5k • Comments: 2 • views: 328
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Pabbit_da_Rabbit on September 10, 2006, 12:57:41 PM
Pabbit_da_Rabbit on (Chapter: 1)
Man, who knew a cross country race could last so long! The details are amazing. It's nice, the metaphors you used, such as the body as a machine and the brain as a coach. The short fragments that make their own paragraphs, their own statements, add a lot to the short story. When you wrote "You won" so briefly at the end, I really felt like the fact of winning just hit me, probably just as it hit you when you ran. Great job, and congrats, Megan!!!Orelin on September 9, 2006, 6:52:45 AM
Orelin on (Chapter: index)
First comment, YEA!Wow, awesome work! I run Cross Country too, so I can really relate to this. Very awesome, I love how you described the different speeds of running. I have the same stratey as you do, tail the first mile, then pass near the end. I love that feeling of racing at the end. But anyway, this is awesome, great work!!!!