Liedetector16

k! Bye bye! IT WAS AWSOtalking to you again... ^_^ e-mail me later ok?

ComoME

k! Bye bye! IT WAS AWSOME

P.S. If your talking about the kinda witnessing i'm talking about, i'm glad your doing it! I've been doing it my entire life and hope to always do it too! Its good for you beacause it teaches you how to be a humble teacher! ^_^ I enjoy it!

HEY! I missed you! Whats up? I'm glad you liked the new chapter. Witness? What do you mean? I know what witness means in my vocabulary, which is to preach or to teach people about our belief or faith. So, what do yo mean for you? Is it the same? Or no? Sounds interesting! I CANT WAIT TO HEAR MORE! I am extremely happy youve returned! I didnt know just how long you would be gone! I was afraid you left FAC! ^_^ Glad your here anyway, i havent seen your name on here in ages! Speaking of witnessing i did 5 hours of it today with my friends! It was alot of fun, even though some people didnt accept it, we still got our good moments along with some laughs in. ^_^ YAYNESS! I woke up at 5:30 this morning to go start driving around to bus stops handing out Watchtower and Awakes! *Those are the bible publications we pass out to people to get them interested in the bible!* So what happened with you? Message me back,

Como *Tasha*

I put a new chapter up in my story... i hope you like it!

Hey Sarah! Sorry i havent been talking much but i'm so bombarded with requests... Hey, ,look at Nat's cute picture she did for me! ITS SO CUTE! Its a picture of tear and Haelo. How is my request coming along? Did you get my reply in that e-mail? I answered both of the serveys. ^_^

Your Fanart Friend!
Como *tasha*

Thanks though for the tips. I will keep them in mind. Please dont get mad i came back on that last one but i just wanted to get that straight. Hope youll still read my story! T_T

Como

3.you put, "I got the following so far..." Well that's similar to what I told you the very first time I commented on your story: addressing the reader is a big-time no-no." well truth is... i just meant that to be a note to herself in what she had gotten so far. Beacause she was stateing how incredible they were so far. In a way, when she thinks it is like talking to another person. Like in the 8th chapter when she battles between herself and...herself. She thinks in conversation as well as personally. Beacause well, i do that myself. I kinda talk to myself when i am contemplating things. Like i would think "do you think she'll get mad if i dont do this?" its just my way.

4th. I am sorry about changing tenses alot. Its just some parts in the story she is telling about what is happining and then it goes back to what was HAPPENING. So...yeah. Thats the reason for that and i will try to make it more clear later.

5th: adressing the reader has always drawn people in my stories from what they have told me and i love reading stories that do that anyway. Such as stories that say "Have you ever jumped off a cliff? I did once... it was the besy expiriance of my life." as a begining of a story. It always makes me want to read it more. So in a way, i think adressing the reader can be a good thing if you use it right. Thats just me. If you dont like it, i'm sorry that they bug you, but i just dont want to change how i write. Because i like to write for myself more than having people read it. But when people as me to i put it up.

I have a story that i wrote in the 6th grade and my teacher thought it was so good that she wanted me to personally read it to the class as an example. I will put it up for you to read okay? Its not the best, but it explains what i mean by i like to address the reader, and you'll see what kind of feeling it can bring out.

^_^ thank you oncec again for the constructive critsism but i'll counter act some of it beacause some of them need to be explained.

1. you said "Just for example: right before ~HPOV~ it says, "I need that picture of them with me..." Now if that were a thought of Tear's it might fit but in that case you would have to let the reader know she was thinking it, maybe by italisising it." your right, that is a mistake and it WAS meant to be in italics.

2. you said the stuff you put in * *, really that wasn't neccissary. It just makes it 10 x easier for me to clear up the story with them so people dont go "what is she talking about". Alot of stories i read have done that, *on the computer anyway*. I'm not exactly planning on being pro, nor do i want to be. I just want to do this for fun so i can get my ideas down in writing before i end up going crazy beacause they havent made an invention that takes thoughts and puts them onto a screen creating a movie... so yeah.

Oops i mean the 7th chapter... i'll be working on the 8th one soon though!