Raen Fall
Submitted July 13, 2008 Updated July 13, 2008 Status Incomplete | this is my second story in a trilogy of amazingness. i hope u all like
Category:
Fantasy |
Chapters
Chapters
Chapter 1 - Capture
Submitted: July 13, 2008 • Updated: July 13, 2008
Word count: 1633 • Size: 7k • Comments: 8 • views: 283
Chapter 2 - none yet
Submitted: July 13, 2008 • Updated: July 13, 2008
Word count: 574 • Size: 2k • Comments: 6 • views: 241
Comments
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ShadowMagic on May 4, 2009, 4:15:11 AM
ShadowMagic on (Chapter: 1)
nice ^-^killerrabbit05 on July 18, 2008, 2:12:05 PM
killerrabbit05 on (Chapter: 2)
Pretty good story... although I am having trouble with some of the places and details of the world and all... it would be nice to gain some insight into the type of world your character is in so we don't feel so... left in the dark? And also, in Chap 1 I had a hard time telling who was speaking in the dialogues... maybe more description might help??Nyte on July 18, 2008, 2:23:58 PM
Nyte on (Chapter: 2)
yea i think i might just type a whole background somedayHinata102 on July 17, 2008, 9:02:46 AM
Hinata102 on (Chapter: 1)
Really nicely done ^-^ but why did he get poisoned in the first place? also in the second chapter why did he carry him and what about all those other soldiers? You'll need quite a bit more detail in the other chaptersNyte on July 17, 2008, 1:13:57 PM
Nyte on (Chapter: 1)
alright so the reason he carried the dead guy was so they wouldn't question him coming to town in case they where on the look out for him and something i forgot to mention is that this is only half the chapter. there was poison in the tea nees gave him(unless that was a later update) and yes it is odd that the soldiers would leave but it will be explained later i promiseHinata102 on July 18, 2008, 6:45:16 AM
Hinata102 on (Chapter: index)
ok then ^-^ wait but where did the tea and nees come from? and why did he split with the monk and why are your chapters so short?! lolgaraworshiper on July 15, 2008, 4:30:06 PM
garaworshiper on (Chapter: 2)
cool, so why did he carry his dead opponnt around again? what happened to the rest of the people who were in that party? i know, i have alot of questions ^_^Nyte on July 15, 2008, 4:32:57 PM
Nyte on (Chapter: 2)
thats good news for me all i can say is that there is a reason for everything that seems askew and some will be explained in the 3rd or 4th chapter i think but i can tell u in private if u cant wait cause it might be awhilegaraworshiper on July 15, 2008, 4:22:18 PM
garaworshiper on (Chapter: 1)
i like this chapter alot! but you never told us what he was in for, is it for killing the god? and where do these crazy spells keep comming from? lol, but overall, its goodNyte on July 15, 2008, 4:25:45 PM
Nyte on (Chapter: 1)
yea he's in for killing the god. and the spell in the first was just some german mushed together(idr what it meant) but in this one its the language of the gods and all magic is in it i will post some words later but i think this spell was protect me and strike my enemy.rainraingoaway on July 15, 2008, 2:37:00 PM
rainraingoaway on (Chapter: 1)
Its really good! You used so much detail!Nyte on July 15, 2008, 3:01:43 PM
Nyte on (Chapter: 1)
thank you i try to make it as though it was u thereYvette on July 14, 2008, 10:20:08 AM
Yvette on (Chapter: 2)
This one is okay but still great writing.Nyte on July 14, 2008, 12:40:20 PM
Nyte on (Chapter: 2)
yea i know its really only like half the chapter or so i was just wanting to put something else out thereYvette on July 14, 2008, 10:17:15 AM
Yvette on (Chapter: 1)
This chapter is really good!