Chapter 1 - alone in constant silence

sitting here all alone
sitting here no ones home
sitting here the songs left me
sitting here abandoned and forsaken
sitting here i am watching her

i am watching her the happyness she has
i am watching her seeing what she has and i dont
i am watching her seeing how unclean i am
i am watching her watching her true being
i am watching her seeing how she looks at the world
i am watching her knowing all she wants and has

i am alone bound to sadness
i am alone my essence is the shadows
i am alone a forsaken one
i am alone rejected and turned down
i am alone victom of my own sins

ever on i will see the horrors
of what i have done
ever on i will know
all the evil that lies in my heart
ever on i will see what i have
started which will bring saddness to others
ever on i will be a shadow
devored by my own being
ever on i will never stop being
for what i am shall never fall
ever on i will see things
through the eyes of a murderer

as i wait for the day of my death
as i wait for what i deserve
as i wait i never forgot
as i wait i remember
as i wait the promise
as i wait comes clear to me
as i wait i can become even more of a felin
as i wait i destroy more of my self

i am what they fear
i am what is to be ignored
i am what others speak of
i am what kills for pleasure
i am what is killing my self
i am what will destroy my true being
i am what the true meaning of darkness is
i am what they thought they could control
i am what brought dispair

is what i do the good thing?
is what they think right?
is what i do the wrong?
is what they do wrong?
is what i do bring me pain?
is what they do bring me pain?

shadows lerking in the darkness
shadows in the darkest night
shadows are what torment me
shadows are what bring me pain
shadows are what i truly am made of
shadows are my only friends
shadows never leave me
shadows always stay

will i ever tell her?
will she ever know?
will i ever be free?
will he ever go?
will i ever be defeated?
if so when and why
will i ever be rid of the shade?
that follows me every where i go
will i ever see her as a friend?
will she ever see me as a freind?

i will never tell her
and if i do it wont be soon
i will never be one of the team
when that happens that will be the day
i will never keep a love intrest
cause i am not worth peoples valuable time
i will always be myself
no matter what i do
i will always be in the shadows
it is just something that will always be

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man this took me about 30 min. to write outa the top of my head well i am really pleased with the results plz tel me what you think oh and this poem is detacated to hiei ^___-

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