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Flower of Fire: A New Shinobi Appears

A new Chunin Exam final has arrived. Find out what happens to the young son of a merchant family after Hinata recieves an unusual fortune.

Chapters

Chapters

Chapter 1 - The Chunin Exam
Submitted: March 27, 2008 • Updated: March 27, 2008
Word count: 1617 • Size: 8k • Comments: 3 • views: 300

Chapter 2 - Kajihana Akai: A Boy with a Dream
Submitted: March 27, 2008 • Updated: March 27, 2008
Word count: 1679 • Size: 8k • Comments: 3 • views: 284

Chapter 3 - A History Unfolds: The Dream with a Chance
Submitted: March 27, 2008 • Updated: March 27, 2008
Word count: 3274 • Size: 17k • Comments: 1 • views: 234

Chapter 4 - Thoughts in Motion: A Stranger Finds Help
Submitted: March 27, 2008 • Updated: March 27, 2008
Word count: 1915 • Size: 9k • Comments: 2 • views: 242

Chapter 5 - The Impressed Leader: A Dream Achieved
Submitted: March 31, 2008 • Updated: March 31, 2008
Word count: 2065 • Size: 11k • Comments: 6 • views: 225

Comments

Comments (20)

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Y0URIMAGINARYFRIEND on May 15, 2008, 9:37:36 PM

Y0URIMAGINARYFRIEND on (Chapter: 5)
Y0URIMAGINARYFRIENDThat was a perfectly formed story. You should become a professional! Loved the use of language, and the way you wrapped the story up. It's been a privilege to read, so thank you.

tinystarkitten on April 4, 2008, 12:35:19 PM

tinystarkitten on (Chapter: 5)
tinystarkittenAaaaaaand... end episode! xD Good ending, leaves me wanting more. Exactly what every writer should aim for.

rlkitten on April 2, 2008, 7:00:29 AM

rlkitten on (Chapter: 5)
rlkittenVery nice!! ^^ A beautiful, smooth. ending!!! Great job!!!!!!
 
Have you heard of the RP section in the forums?

flyingeagle13 on April 2, 2008, 9:54:56 AM

flyingeagle13 on (Chapter: 5)
flyingeagle13Actually I have not, could you please explain.

rlkitten on April 2, 2008, 1:19:23 PM

rlkitten on (Chapter: index)
rlkittenWhoa!! Really?! I was wondering if you had, but just didn't like it. That's the way my friend is anyway- she's a great writer, but just isn't really into RPing.
 
Alright, just let me get a link real quick....
 
http://forums.fanart-central.net/viewforum.php?f=16
 
Here's the link to "General Roleplaying" I have yet to figure out how to be accepted into "Advanced Roleplaying"- I haven't read that thread =/ This can be found in the second to last section in the forums, labeled "Writing"
 
Here, it's kind of like...a great big collaboration? Sort of? Agh- I'm not so good at explaining it- nobody explained it to me, so I think I'll just let you get a good idea of it by reading recent posts and the rules.
 
Oh yeah! The rules! MAKE SURE YOU READ ALL THE RULES:
Character Entrances
All the rules you gotta know
 
If you're into Zelda or Harry Potter, I have two RPs up and running, though I don't really suggest joining the Harry Potter one- it's dying.
Hyrule for Peace
Hogwarts~ Future
 
I highly suggest joining this RP I'm currently in, it's going very well- and you can totally join, if you don't mind a bit of reading (understatement...but I'm sure you can easily catch up- either that or request a summary from the maker of the RP through PM)
The Sound of Marching Gear
 
Maybe when you get the feel of it you could make a decent Naruto RP? I really want there to be one, but have no idea how to begin it -Nor any ideas when it comes to plot. Well, I hope you’ll consider RPing though!! If you do well enough, you can get away from all the amateurs and in with the Advanced! =D I’m still work’in on that myself X3
 

rlkitten on April 1, 2008, 12:01:24 PM

rlkitten on (Chapter: 2)
rlkittenLol, oh xD I was JUST thinking about telling you to describe what Akai looked like when you hit right at the end. lol, oh well~ you got it!! The only thing that slightly gets me is that there aren't any spaces. I know it's probably better to not have them-more...I don't know- formal?-book like?-, but, for me at least, it just makes it easier to read on the screen. It's just a pretty worthless tip- seeing as nobody else seems to have this problem. *shrug* You can leave it, it's fine.
 
Both Akai and Hinata seemed a bit friendly for people who've just met. Maybe this is just me, but I would think that they should say each others names a little less. Hmm. But, then, their set to be older than me, so perhaps the older you get, the more social you become. IT's just, even among friends, I wouldn't say their name as much. Like when he says "I am sorry, Hinata." or "Don't worry about it, Hinata" It just seems a tiny bit unnecessary considering they're the only two there.
 
I don't mean to sound too nit picky- finding things wrong here, in this beautiful story, is hard ^^ And even then, I'm afraid that I might be looking so hard that I might make a mistake XO
 
But I hope you'll understand the advice. Spaces- totally optional, I just find it hard to read on a computer screen. Names- no need to have characters address each other so much, especially if their not in a crowd where one can get confused trying to find out who their talking to.
 
Beautiful chapter though! Akai actually reminds me of Lee a little bit X3 I'd love to do a collaboration with you some time- though I'm not entirely sure how to do one with writing.

flyingeagle13 on April 2, 2008, 9:54:08 AM

flyingeagle13 on (Chapter: 2)
flyingeagle13The spaces are missing because I typed this in a word processor and it didn't transfer correctly. I'm going to fix the problem before submitting the next one.

The reason they both use each others names so often is because they are both trying to be polite but are not exactly sure just how polite to be.

Thanks for pointing it out though. I'll be more careful next time.

flyingeagle13 on April 2, 2008, 9:56:39 AM

flyingeagle13 on (Chapter: index)
flyingeagle13And by collaborate I mainly mean help me with ideas for characters and missions. Especially missions. They're hard to come up with.

rlkitten on April 2, 2008, 12:58:18 PM

rlkitten on (Chapter: index)
rlkittenCool ^^ I see what you're saying with the polite thing *nod*
 
Ohhh, mission ideas, eh? X3 I tell you as soon as I get some good ideas, if you'd like-

rlkitten on April 2, 2008, 6:48:17 AM

rlkitten on (Chapter: 4)
rlkittenVery nice!!! I love it!!! ^^ You have everything figured out!! Super awesome!!! Great chapter!! =D

rlkitten on April 1, 2008, 3:41:53 PM

rlkitten on (Chapter: index)
rlkittenI'm afraid I won't be able to read the next two chapters until tomorrow =( But I'll do it as soon as I get back from school!!

rlkitten on April 1, 2008, 3:40:32 PM

rlkitten on (Chapter: 3)
rlkittenVery nice!! Lovely detail, lovely descriptions, lovely emotion- lovely, er, well...everything, really! I really enjoyed this chapter ^^ Well done!! I'm afraid, however, I don't really have much of anything to say when it comes to critique on this one. It was wonderful /\_/\

SunaNoFara on March 31, 2008, 2:21:17 PM

SunaNoFara on (Chapter: 5)
SunaNoFaraNice ending!  Really, a great story!  I hope to see your next story soon!^^

hflp on March 31, 2008, 12:56:47 PM

hflp on (Chapter: 5)
hflpCool.

rlkitten on March 29, 2008, 2:10:49 PM

rlkitten on (Chapter: 1)
rlkittenOh! It's so nice!! I love it ^^ It's so very pleasant to read! I'd love to read all the other chapters this instant- but I gotta go =( I'll anxiously await the next chance I get to continue reading! Beautiful work!