Chapter 1 - The List...

You know you've been watching too much anime when…
[ulist]
You wonder why you haven't seen anyone with natural green hair recently.

You realize maybe it isn't a good idea to walk around with a skeleton in your coat.

Every index card in the room doesn't come to your rescue.

Big swords are both unpopular and unwieldy.

Your clothes don't miraculously repair themselves.

You aren't employed by the underworld after you push a little kid out of the way of that speeding car. You just die.

Things don't burst into flame when you look at them

Throwing a sword at someone's head when you're mad at them isn't a good idea, and it's NOT funny.

You don't have mystical kung fu powers.

Or holy powers.

Or any superpowers whatsoever.

Training for hundreds of hours doesn't give you a new hairdo.

Watching an old man's car doesn't give you karate-hang on a sec! That's not anime!

You realize that hanging around your local graveyard waiting for spirits to contact you is probably a waste of your time. Also, people are starting to talk.

Throwing a garbage can at someone has negative consequences.

That giant robot you made? Hate to break it to you, but it doesn't work.

You realize that we're NOT in the middle of an intergalactic war.

Your playing cards won't fight for you.

Losing a duel isn't the end of the world. It just doesn't work like that.

You find yourself making lists of all the reasons that you know you've been watching too much anime when…

Your cat doesn't turn into a giant flying fiery cat-thing.

You get arrested for trying to eat your dog.

People who wear red trench-coats are not trying to kill you.

You suddenly realize that that guy who walks around dressed like Inu Yasha either has way too much time on his hands, is actually a woman, or can't distinguish between anime and reality either.

People tend to get annoyed when you shout out words like `Kamehameha!'

Beams of energy don't fly out of your hands when you shout `Kamehameha!'

Your attempts at walking up a tree end in the emergency room.

You notice that you have a spouse and kids. And grand kids.

Shooting arrows as people doesn't kill them instantly (most of the time). It only pisses them off.

Those markings on your right arm aren't a sign of demonic possession. They're just Sharpie.

Taking food from strangers doesn't keep you from disappearing. If anything, it can cause you to disappear.

You can't send people to the Shadow Realm.

You aren't carrying the spirit of a pharaoh around your neck in that oversized pendant.

You have no Craft powers.

That's not Orbo, its Palmolive.

You can't control plants.

You realize that the hole in your hand isn't the Wind Tunnel. Maybe you should get that looked at…

Carrying a giant boomerang around is both dangerous and unwieldy.

Your voice may change when you sing, but it's not for the better.

Trying to dive through solid matter fails miserably.

Reading an old book doesn't send you back to Ancient China, where you are the Priestess of one of the four gods. It just makes you sneeze.

You realize that just because that guy said he's a demon, it doesn't mean it's true.

You're surprised by the face that most people's eyes are smaller then their fists.

The PETA throws a bucket of red paint on you because you're walking around, wearing a white baboon skin.

Making a body-shaped mold and placing dirt from someone's grave in it doesn't bring that person back to life.

When you cry, it doesn't hit a person standing five feet away.

Hugging someone of the opposite sex doesn't cause them to turn into an animal. You just get hugged back, or told to bug off.

You realize that people who walk around with the skeleton of their dead significant other have problems.

You can't fly.

You make lists like this.

Swords are dangerous.

People don't have naturally green or blue hair. We hope.

Eating a whole pineapple without chewing can be dangerous to your health.

Stepping in front of that speeding cannonball turns out to be quite painful, if in fact not lethal.

You can't dodge bullets-wait, that's not anime either.

You're surprised when you can't punch a hole though-among other things: People, walls, and rocks.

When your grandfather hands you a mummified hand, it's not because your family is afraid that you'll turn out to be possessed by a p'od celestial maiden, and try to kill them all.

It's just your twin brother, not an ancestor who's reincarnated himself as you in order to take over the world. Stop trying to kill him.

You can't control spirits, or see them

Chances are, no matter how badly you want to, you don't live in Japan.

You make lists like these.
[/ulist]


So, which of these apply to you? Hmm?

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