SilentSoul92

Thanks for the comment ^___^ evryone elses comment on my pioc was negative so I erased them all. Thanks for not flamin' me!!!!!!!!!!

Don't torment me with your evil ways by saying my artworks legs are too long!! Lol! I'm just kidding, thanx for the tip. Next time I'll try not to make them soooo long.

i never said that she wasnt Good enough.

Hey. I just wanted to let you know that I finally got my story back up and was able to post chapters 1 through 5. Just to let you know. ^^; Sorry for the long wait. ^^;;

Seifer-sama

don't worry, it was really well appreciated. Gah, so many homeworks and project assignments. I haven't had any time to write the next chappie. (Wendy nearly drove me nuts with her shouts of updating. @-@) hopefully I can get the next one up soon. I'll take you adivce, it really does help

Actually, that was a lot of critism, wasn't it? ^^'' Whoo boy. . .

And lastly, your foreshadowing. You know what it is? I'm pretty sure you do, but just in case, foreshadowing is like giving the reader a hint of what's happening next. I noticed (especially in chapter 11), that you completely stopped the story to tell people of a character that wasn't in the little battle at all. That is ineffective because 1) it seems very unprofessional, 2) it takes the moment away for the reader, and 3) you can easily use the method of foreshadowing to tell the readers what to prepare for. Please please please! I find that very annoying as a reader, and you do have some wonderful potential!

I like the story anyway, it has a great concept. But don't worry about all this; not many people on this site are acquainted with the basic writing skills. How should I know? Because that's how I started like. That's why I'm kinda embarrassed about my very first fanfic, the Millennium Ritual. It's so bad. . . --''

Thanks for listening!

Hey Rita. Sorry for not showing up for awhile. Anyway, I just want to give you some critism about your writing, Divination, since you asked me a LONG time ago to read it. (wrote two comments in there, but was too lazy to write anymore)

Anyway, the very first thing I saw that needed improvement was format and spacing. Spacing spacing spacing. You can't tell where the paragraphs brake off, and that's kind of a number one rule when it comes to writing. You MUST have paragraphs and stuff to show when a thought ends or when it begins.

Two, grammer. The concept of your story is very nice, and it is obvious that you have some excellent ideas, but you need to learn the basic ways of writing dialogue, author's craft, foreshadowing, and so on. These are basic tools that are needed to become an exceptional writer. how do I know? Because I'm working on those tools right now.


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yo um rita silentsoul i put a person in kingdom hearts -darkness falls im jus lettin ya know so the wait can be shorter