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Fiercely I Love you, Suddenly I Lose You

Everyone has an epic battle, this is mine.

Chapters

Chapters

Chapter 1 - Your Metal Box
Submitted: March 9, 2005 • Updated: March 9, 2005
Word count: 598 • Size: 3k • Comments: 5 • views: 139

Chapter 2 - My Metal Box
Submitted: August 8, 2005 • Updated: August 8, 2005
Word count: 1662 • Size: 8k • Comments: 7 • views: 136

Comments

Comments (13)

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Escapee_From_Bedlam on August 29, 2005, 10:27:06 AM

Escapee_From_Bedlam on (Chapter: 2)
Escapee_From_BedlamIt made me think of a love-hate relationship of some vitriol sort, much like the kind 'tween myself an' I. You had me bearing a huge stupid grin (I get emotionally/psychotically overwhelmed when I read great pieces) as I read in between every word of the first and second chapters. And the poetry? You managed the slant-rhyme technique like some kind of goddam master.

Just one question, (and seeing your response would prove to me if you actually saw this review) as you wrote the story (the second chapter in particular) did your mind just dictate the words to you as you wrote or did you go through many hours of ‘copy-editing’ and such? Got a feeling you wrote the words as soon as you thought 'em.

I’m sure you already get generous amounts of praise for this knack outside the web, but still, I want to put a review here because if the majority won’t do it, then I will. And I did.

I'll wait for the third installment of "FILY,SILY" but if you don't post the next, it's alright.

All in all

Thank you for this frackin' masterpiece.

sincerely
---------
e.f.
b..

Escapee_From_Bedlam on August 29, 2005, 10:26:56 AM

Escapee_From_Bedlam on (Chapter: 2)
Escapee_From_BedlamA metaphorical beauty.


You just proved me wrong that there are more than four great writers (not myself included) on this website..

It's pissing me off to see that neither chapters had it's share of reviews; I don't know if it's because the people here are too immature to read it in the first place, or if those who read it were too fracking scared to talk about it.. but I will tell you about it and it was friggin' amazing..

I haven't read a poem put into paragraphs, or a story prosed into poetry the way this was done. Actually I haven't read a good story on FAC for some time {there really are people like If-I-Should-Die}, and all I've been looking at here was pure waste, but christ.. you made my day with this.. This thing was stellar every which way, many thanks to its profundity.