ladychaos

hmm...let me think...i spent an hour typing those up then i posted them....if you want some funny jokes, i think killsometime.com has some. it's were i get all my funny pics (like my avatar) i think some of those jokes i got from there.

put it on my profile in a funny way! i plan on being a stand up comedian/actor, make em laugh, and shoot the ones who don't!

lol, i've heard that one..i was gonna tell ya it:P but with three blondes, it's funnier thta way.

we should submit these jokes as stories.

what's this about a story?

Hi ya, thanks for telling me about your story!! I'll have a read when I get the chance ^_^ It sounds interesting!! Well um...see yas!! O.^

I have commented your story! ^^ it's very cool!

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.

Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will."

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say yes or did she say no?" He couldnt remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. No even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didnt remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes or did you say No?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, Yes, yes I will and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I couldnt remember who had asked me."

lol! you go girl! that's awesome! and my news its, drum roll please...

*drum roll*

Alekazem: *pulls certain* A new scanner/printer!

I can finally submit pics faster now! Yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooo! and it won't eat it! ^_^

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Lets begin by reviewing some American history. "Who said Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" said the teacher. "Now, who said, Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "Im gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now, with almost a mob hysteria, the teacher said, "If you say anything else, Ill kill you!"

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh shoot, were in BIG trouble now!"

Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."

Finally, someone threw an eraser at Pedro and another student shouted, "Duck"!

The teacher, just waking up and still a bit out of it, asked "Who said that?

Pedro: "Dick Cheney 2006!"